Financial Goals: Looking for Greener Pastures

April 01, 2011

My girlfriend and I joke about her country life in upstate NY (almost Canada!) versus my city life in Baltimore.  While this time of year brings blossoms and green grass in my neck of the woods, her climate is still dominated by brown grass, barren trees, frigid winds and the residue of salt from the endless maintenance of those snow-laden roads.  She laughs as I brace myself for the cold every time I walk out the door of her house.  “My weather is so much better!” I joke, but deep down I am serious.  I am always wishing her weather was my weather.  I am always wishing my drive for a visit was on my terms…green, lush, and just plain old bearable.

One thing I notice is that in her town, many cattle crane their necks out of the fence of their pasture, as if they are reaching, looking for some better life outside of what they know.  I wonder if this is what I am doing every time I am reaching, wishing, for something more….some green grass to feed on instead of the brown?  And, of course, being a financial planning geek, I am always tying things to financial issues.  So, my question today is this: how often are we using the “grass is always greener” mentality when it comes to our finances?

Our human desire to grow is normal.  It is what makes us strive to better our lives.  But, if we lose perspective, if we get caught up in focusing on our own “lack” as compared to others perceived “surplus,” we lose focus on our own situation and our own goals.  We wind up wasting a moment of productivity on looking at others’ gains instead of keeping our eyes on our own path.  Like the cattle looking outside the fence, we think (often wrongly) that the path to our own success lies somewhere “out there.”

I wish I could say that when I meet with people to talk about their financial lives that they ALWAYS focused on their current situation, their longer term goals, and how to get from here to there.  Far too often, comparisons are made to how successful and well off their family members, friends, neighbors, etc. are.  Very often, this ends up being counterproductive and brings out feelings of failure.  Just because someone’s 401(k) balance is 3 times bigger than mine doesn’t mean that I can’t reach my goals!  The same thing happens when I am talking with my kids about something they did that was a bit out of the “good behavior” that they usually exhibit (added in case they read this…) and they say “but my brother did insert perceived injustice here.”  I remind them to focus on their own situation and don’t get caught up in comparisons.

If we can simply walk our own path, focusing on our own goals, our own steps will become clear as we spend time focusing on what we can control, instead of the “greener grass” to be had in another person’s life.  Can we take our not-so-green grass and make hay?  Can we take the proverbial lemons and make lemonade?  We will have the strength to make the best of our own situation—and even work to better it— if we don’t waste precious time craning our necks out looking for greener pastures.