Managing Mom’s (or Dad’s) Money

September 09, 2014

I recently spoke to a caller on the Financial Helpline, where we provide over the phone financial coaching as an employee benefit through her employer.  She had just learned that her parents had deeded over the family home to her nephew, who was in his early 20s and barely getting by. Her mom had just recently settled into an assisted living facility at $5,500 a month due to an onset of dementia. Her dad, age 93, still lived at home with her sister and nephew and was getting worried he might go broke trying to pay for her care and he didn’t want to lose the family home. 

What he didn’t realize was that even if he ended up in a Medicaid spend down situation, there is a spousal impoverishment provision that would preserve his home and a certain amount of their combined assets as the “community spouse” still living independently.  A bigger risk he now faces is if the nephew ever decides to borrow against the home and defaults, sells the home, or even ends up being sued and having a lien placed against the home. As we talked about the situation, I wondered if the father would be open to having the more practical daughter (who I was on the phone with) take over managing his finances if her sister started to take advantage of him.  I recommended a great guide from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) that offers helpful tips for financial caregivers:  Managing Someone Else’s Money . The guide can help anyone in the same situation in these 3 ways:

• As a financial caregiver, the guide walks you through your duties.
• How to watch out for scams and financial exploitation and what to do if your loved one is a victim.
• Resources and where you can go for additional help.

If you suspect an elderly relative, friend, or neighbor is being targeted or has been a victim of financial elder abuse, visit the Elder Care Locator online to find resources in your state or call the hotline at 1(800)-677-1116.  When you may need you to step in and help with their financial matters, start the conversation by following the tips provided by the Department of Health and Human Services in their brochure Let’s Talk. You don’t have to help a loved one alone. Let someone help you help them.