What (If Anything) Will You Regret the Most in Retirement?

August 04, 2014

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was simply living in the past? When I say living in the past, I don’t just mean the innocent act of reminiscing about better times or the so-called “good ole days.” I am referring to people that painfully dwell on the past. This can be painful for the person experiencing regret and can also be an emotional drain on those who constantly observe and listen to others experience the cycle of regret.

When you think about some of the financial decisions you’ve made in the past do you have any regrets? If you answered yes, you are definitely not alone. Heck, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve made some decisions that cost my family money in the end.

A recent United States of Aging 2014 study highlighted the most common regrets among seniors in a nationally representative study. Any guesses what was #1 on the list of regrets? When asked which steps adults age 60 or older wish they had taken to plan and prepare for their senior years, 45% indicated they wish they had saved more money. This was followed by 36% who said they would have liked to have taken better care of their health. Made better investments was third on the list with 31% expressing that regret. Here are the other items on the list of regrets: kept legal documents organized (22%), stayed closer with family (21%), worked longer (15%), planned to live in a home that is better for aging (13%), and planned to live in a community that is better for aging (10%).

When we are younger, a little regret can actually be a powerful force to help us take a different path in life, refocus, or take steps to correct previous mistakes. Looking back at my own money management trials and tribulations as a grad student, I made more than my fair share of poor financial decisions that I may have regretted at the time. However, I learned from these past errors rather than allow them to define me.

I chose at some point to start working hard to take corrective action in my financial life. In essence, I used some regretful financial decisions to redefine my financial future. Part of this “I am tired of the chains of debt” experience actually helped inspire my desire to become a student of personal financial planning so that I could assist others on their own journey.

However, it has been my personal experience that the more difficult it is to overcome a regretful situation, the harder it may seem to replace regret with a healthy dose of optimism. Regret itself is not necessarily a bad thing because it can provide us a chance to look at our actions and the subsequent consequences of these behaviors. Research actually suggests that while we tend to regret actions more in the short-term, it is inactivity or errors of omission in our lives that lead to more long-term regret.

When it comes to the subject of prioritizing our financial life goals to help overcome the powerful enemies of procrastination and inertia, three simple questions can help you assess your most important life goals. The first two questions are focused on shifting focus in the goal setting process from possibilities to priorities. But the final question is completely related to the subject of regret.

Imagine that your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Notice what thoughts or feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do? Who did you wish you spent more time with?  Do you have any regrets?

There is nothing wrong with an occasional life review and self-assessment.  A financial planning review is an important aspect of this self-assessment.  While you may have a laundry list of shoulda, coulda, wouldas (note: my former teachers must be excited I used the Urban Dictionary) in life, the important thing is take action while we can now to avoid future regret.  Thanks to some insight from those who have already approached retirement age, it is helpful to see common regrets of others so we can work hard to avoid regrets of our own.