Going Against the Odds
May 30, 2014I’ve played one sport or another virtually my entire life. And, along with playing, I enjoy watching as well. One of the many things I love about sports is that it is just so unpredictable.
Last weekend, I watched a title fight in the UFC, which is rapidly becoming my favorite spectator sport. A relatively young and inexperienced fighter, T J Dillashaw pulled a remarkable upset by beating a champion, Renan Barao, that many people considered the best in the world. TJ was given virtually no chance at beating Barao by anyone who wasn’t one of TJ’s family members.
This truly looked like a mismatch, a man vs. a boy, David vs. Goliath type fight. I had planned to skip it in order to do something with one of my kids but he got a better offer and bailed on me. So, I reluctantly went out with some friends to watch what I thought was going to be a lackluster mismatch but I would have fun with some friends.
The fight was absolutely amazing and TJ dominated from start to finish and a new champion was crowned that night. It was an incredible surprise! I’m glad I was there to see it as it turned into one of the most impressive performances I’ve ever seen from an athlete in any sport at any level. A week later and I’m still in awe of how spectacular TJ Dillashaw was.
My week kept getting better as the fight wasn’t my only big surprise. I got a call from someone I had worked with for a few years, helping to get her financial life straightened out. When we first met, her credit score was in the 400’s. She had a collections account, her monthly bills were severely in arrears and her power was about to be shut off by the utility company. It was not a good scene.
Fortunately, we were able to build a plan to get out of that jam and make slow but steady progress. Because of how dire her situation was, we swapped a lot of emails during her early conversations. Once her immediate crisis was over without a bankruptcy filing, we started to tackle some long term goals. She started to pay down debt and contribute to her 401k and she saved enough for a “starter” emergency fund ($1,500). Then she got a secured credit card to help begin the credit repair process. Things were moving in the right direction.
Finally, she landed a nice job in a different state and left the company that was a Financial Finesse client. We had a “last” meeting to update her progress and she moved south to get away from cold winters. And, I was pleased with how hard she worked to dig out of a really bad place and develop new, more positive financial behaviors. We hugged and she thanked me for all of the conversations and guidance along the way.
Fast forward to this week. I got a “Great News” email from her! I hadn’t heard from her in over a year and was very surprised to see her name pop up in my inbox.
She was emailing to let me know that she had just been approved for a mortgage on a condo of her own and that she was about to become a homeowner. She is only a few years older than my daughter and when I read her email I felt so very proud of her. I hope my daughter doesn’t get offended, but I was as proud of this young woman and her fight to make her financial life better as I was when I watched my daughter walk across the stage and get a diploma.
I thought back to our first conversation and the anguish, fear, distress and heartache that she felt, the tears she cried that day, and her fear of being seen as a failure by her parents. It was all very raw and very real. The easy path would have been to surrender, file bankruptcy, and move in with her parents. She refused to do that and said that she was too much of a fighter to settle for the easy path. How fitting to get her email after seeing one of the biggest upsets in the fight game that I’ve ever witnessed.
As easy as it is to watch the news and see the worst part of human nature, I love seeing stories about the underdog refusing to quit, fighting with every ounce of energy in their body, and surprising us all. I’m not sure which surprised me more, TJ Dillashaw or the email but I’m incredibly glad I was able to witness both!
If you find yourself in a situation that seems overwhelming, what can you do?
- Know what you want to accomplish. Know what your definition of success is. Once you can visualize success, you can achieve it. TJ wanted to be the champ. The employee I mentioned wanted to be debt free and have enough money each month to build up enough savings to buy her first house. Both had very clear visions of success.
- Ask for help! Talk with friends, family, counselors, and professionals in whatever area you’re overwhelmed. TJ had coaches. The woman in my story had a financial planner at her disposal. Who is your subject matter expert? How can they help you?
- Start by taking one step. By taking one small step like making your bed each day in this graduation speech, you can begin to make progress.
- Have a plan. After step 1, you’re going to need step 2. Dig in, through your own research or with the help of your coach/advisor, and have a plan to get you from where you are now to where you want to go. This is where working in an ongoing way with your team can help you stay focused, track your progress and realize that you actually ARE making progress.
- Have an ally that will hold you accountable. Knowing that you have to report results to someone can help you change your behaviors. I know when I’ve wanted to drop a few pounds, I’ve let one of my friends know & he texts me to ask my weight at random times until I have reached my goal. Knowing that he will ask, I’m able to put the spoon down even when Ben & Jerry is calling my name.
Being overwhelmed or feeling hopeless isn’t a unique thing. Lots of people have been there. I hope that by sharing two stories of people facing seemingly insurmountable odds, you can draw a bit of inspiration and have an idea of where to begin digging out from under whatever obstacle is in your path.