Your Last Wish
September 24, 2013Do you have a last wish? I hadn’t given it much thought until last weekend, when I sadly had to attend a memorial of a friend who died unexpectedly at the early age of 48. Tom left behind a wife, a grown son, and his childhood best friend John, who he’d stayed close with for over 40 years of their lives.
Tom’s son had put together a video tribute of his dad, with pictures from his youth to present. One common theme in all the pictures was that Tom loved to hunt and fish, and his buddy John was in most of the shots. When John got up to share some of his memories, he ended his talk by sharing with us that all that Tom wished had been for John to take his ashes and scatter them in the PA mountains where they had hunted. He said that every year when they made their journey to state game land #141, they’d bring up the promise that the first one to go was to be scattered in the wind at their favorite camping spot on the river. John just never imagined that day would come so soon for Tom.
On the way home, I asked my husband if he’d like to be cremated and scattered at his favorite hunting spot or our favorite beach. I was surprised to learn he didn’t want to even be cremated. I then asked where he’d want to be buried. “I don’t know”, he said, “I’ll just leave that to you to figure out.” Well, I figured we would have to continue that conversation another day.
Have you pushed off thinking about your own final wishes? I know it is not a pleasant topic to think about, but sharing your intent with your loved ones can relieve the burden on them when your time comes. Here are just a few things to consider, found in They Need to Know Your Last Wishes:
1. Would you want cremation or burial and where would you want your remains?
2. Where do you want your memorial held, and do you want it to be private or open?
3. Do you have a favorite charity for donations in lieu of flowers?
4. Are you willing to be an organ donor?
I am already an organ donor, which is indicated on my driver’s license. And now with Tom’s last gift to me, which was planting the seed of my own last wish, I finished the conversation with my husband by having him promise to scatter me into the salty air at our favorite beach, with his toes in the sand just like when we got married. What’s your last wish?