The Surprise Costs of Senior Year of High School

May 16, 2017

I was recently talking to a friend of mine whose son is about to graduate from high school and she was telling me how expensive it is to have a senior and how she wishes she would have started planning earlier for all of the money she had to fork out. Below are some of the things she wished she would have saved for:

College Entrance Exam fees:  Most people forget to factor in the cost of college entrance exams. The SAT with the essay is $57, although the fee may be waived depending on your income. The ACT with writing costs $58.50. Similar to the SAT, the ACT can waive fees for low income students.

College entrance exam study programs: Initially, my friend used free programs like the ones at KhanAcademy.org  and her local library to help her son prep for the college entrance exams. He ended up needing a combination of online and classroom style learning, so she also enrolled him in a college exam prep program, which can easily cost over $1,000. She suggests working with your child’s school counselor to research and review different tutorial programs to find the best one to fit your child’s need and your budget. She also suggests outright asking for discounts and combing websites like Groupon and Living Social to look for discounted college prep tutoring.

College Application Fees: The average college application fee in 2016 was $42. Her son applied to six colleges so the costs added up quickly. Although my friend did not qualify, you may be able have application fees waived based on income, applying online, being an alumni, or visiting the college. She suggests you and your child talk to the school counselor early about ways to save on college application fees.

High School Tchotchke: My friend was blindsided by all the things that came up “senior.” Senior mugs, flags and tee-shirts were a few of the items her son wanted. Then she got hit again with senior pictures, yearbook, varsity jackets and the class ring. The yearbook and pictures alone can climb into the hundreds of dollars. Give your child a budget as to what he can spend.

High school events: Senior trips, college visits, graduation parties, prom, post graduation parties and the wardrobe to attend the events can easily add up to over $1,000. She had to give her son a reality check that he could not rent a helicopter for prom. She suggested saving in advance and talking to your child about  your budget and start shopping early for clothes. She rented a tux for her son’s prom but his date also rented her dress. Her son and his date went to a beauty college instead of a salon to cut his hair and style hers. A little researching and planning can save hundreds of dollars.

If you’re planning now for your child to head into senior year, use checklists like the one from Consumerist.com to estimate costs and start saving monthly. If your child is planning to work over the summer, have them contribute by saving part of their income to cover expenses. This may mean opening up a savings account and having part of your child’s paycheck automatically deposited into the savings account. Ultimately, the more planning you do and the more dialogue you have with your children about how much they can spend, the better you can manage the senior year dollar drain.

How to Have The Money Talk

January 30, 2017

Are you in a serious relationship, thinking about moving in together, engaged or even newly married?  If you are contemplating sharing a household together now or at some point in the future, there’s no better time than the present to discuss your finances.  “Your life partner can be your best financial friend or your worst financial enemy,” according to Financial Finesse CEO and author Liz Davidson.  Marriage is an emotional and spiritual partnership, but it’s also a legal financial relationship.  Money is the leading cause of stress in relationships, but it doesn’t have to be.  The foundation of any successful economic partnership, including living together or marriage, is strong communication with full financial disclosure.

Ground rules

The Money Talk can sometimes bring strong emotions to the surface, so choose a place to have your discussion that will be relaxing and free of distractions to both of you.  Choose a pleasant, neutral location where you have sufficient privacy.  Keep these ground rules in mind:

  • Make sure your discussion is scheduled for a time of day that works for both partners. My husband prefers to talk money and night and I prefer the morning. Over time, we’ve learned over time to bring up financial decisions during breaks in the work day, or on weekend days is best if we’ re going to have the most productive conversations.
  • No alcohol! While a glass of wine could give you courage to disclose your student loan balance, each partner should have their wits about them. It will much easier to listen compassionately without judgment if you are free of cocktails. Feel free to stash a bottle of champagne in the fridge for later to celebrate this milestone in your relationship.
  • Set a beginning and end time for your discussion. If you don’t finish everything, set up a follow up date.
  • Don’t judge. Your partner has a different money story and may have different values and financial priorities than you. Refrain from expressing opinions – think of this conversation as an exercise in  information-gathering.

What to discuss? Make sure that you’ve covered all your bases:

Tell each other your money stories

  • How did your parents handle money? What do you think of how they handled their finances? How did that impact you? If you’ve never thought through your money story, the book The Feel Rich Project, by Michael Kay, CFP® has some helpful chapters on how to assess your history.
  • How would you describe your financial personality? Are you a saver or a spender, or something in between? Do you like to plan carefully, or be more spontaneous? Do you collaborate, or prefer to decide independently? Are you more likely to be meet your own expectations or those of others? Consider using this framework for thinking about how you best create financial habits. If you want to dive deeper into the financial personality question, you can both take an online quiz here or here and compare notes.
  • What’s the biggest financial success you’ve had? What are the factors which contributed to it?
  • What’s the biggest financial failure you’ve had? What are the factors which contributed to it?
  • If you’ve been married or living together before, how did you handle money together? What worked, and what didn’t?

Take inventory – how much to you spend, what do you own and what do you owe?

Now that you’ve reviewed the emotional side of money, it’s time to get practical. Compare notes on your income and expenses:

Income

  • How much do you each make? Do you expect that to increase, decrease or stay the same in the short term?
  • Do you have other sources of income, such as rental property, business investments or trust income?

Expenses

  • How much and what are your “must pay” expenses every month – housing, transportation, insurance, child support, tuition, etc.
  • Do you track your expenses? What system do you use?

Assets

  • How much are you saving for retirement as a percentage of your income? How much have you saved so far in retirement accounts, such as 401(k) or 403(b), Roth and traditional IRAs?
  • If you own your home, what’s it worth approximately?
  • Do you have an emergency fund? How much do you have in cash reserves?
  • What other investments do you have?
  • Do you co-own any of your assets with someone else?

Debt

  • What is your mortgage balance, rate and remaining years to pay, if you have one?
  • How many credit cards do you have? Do any of them carry balances that don’t get paid off in full each month? How much?
  • Do you have outstanding student loans? Are they private or federal loans? Are you current on paying them?  Are you in a loan deferral or forbearance period?
  • If you have non-mortgage debt, do you have a plan for paying it off? By when?

Insurance

Financial wellness means that you are prepared for unexpected and expensive events, such as a major illness or car accident.

  • Do you have health insurance? What kind of health care benefits are available to you at work?
  • Do you have short and/or long term disability income insurance?
  • Discuss your auto insurance. Do you have the bare minimum coverage, or are more fully protected?

Show each other your credit reports

Now comes the hard part. Show each other your credit reports. For many couples, this is the most difficult part of the conversation. Remember, regardless of your credit history, transparency here is an act of love. If you are thinking about spending your lives together you’ll have an economic and financial partnership, not just a romantic one. Full disclosure is essential, especially for engaged and married couples, who will generally be held legally responsible for debts their spouse occurs during the marriage.

  • Access your free credit reports from the three major credit bureaus at annualcreditreport.com or share your report from any online credit monitoring service you use, such as Credit Karma or Credit Sesame.
  • Review and discuss any major items, such as bankruptcy, short sales, and a history of significant late payments or charged off accounts. Do you see evidence that your partner has good financial habits, or is working to develop them after a financial mishap?
  • If one partner has significantly better credit than the other, how will this impact how you manage money together?

What are your financial priorities and long term goals?

Once you’ve tackled the rough part of the conversation, you can head to the fun part!  A successful marriage begins with a shared vision. Ask each other:

  • If everything worked out exactly the way you wanted it to financially for us, what would that look like?
  • Where do you see us living now? In five years? In retirement?
  • If we plan to have children, do you think one of us should take a career break to raise them? For how long?
  • When would you like to be financially independent enough to have the option to retire?
  • Can you define “financial independence” for me?
  • What would happen if one of us got sick or laid off? How do you think we should handle it?
  • If one of you has children from a previous relationship, how do you plan to handle the costs of raising them, including sending them to college? See Financial Planning Tips for New Stepparents for ideas.
  • If one of you has significant debt, such as credit card balances or student loans, what is your target time to have them paid off completely?

Not a one-time event

Congratulations on getting through your first “Money Talk!” We hope this will be the first of many ongoing conversations about your joint finances. Marriage can teach you a lot about money.  Now that you’ve established a foundation of transparency, full disclosure and sharing your visions, set up regular “money meetings” to talk through ongoing financial business.  You’ll have a better personal – and financial – relationship for doing that.

Financial Planning Tips for New Stepparents

August 01, 2016

Do you have stepchildren?  If so, you’re not alone. According to the Pew Research Trust, more than four in ten Americans have at least one step-relative in their family.

Recently several of my fellow planners and I who are stepparents were talking about financial planning and step-families. One thing was clear: we love our stepchildren and can’t imagine life without them! We also agreed that getting married to someone who has children from a previous marriage requires a certain money mind shift. What should stepparents expect? How can new partners set themselves up for a harmonious and prosperous financial relationship?

Full Financial Disclosure

A Money magazine poll found 80% of married couples with children under 18 argue about money. Take this very seriously. Frequent arguments about money are a top predictor of divorce.

This can get even more complicated when there are factors such as child support, alimony, or divorce-related credit issues that accompany one or both spouses into remarriage. Accept upfront that this will add a level of complexity to the financial side of your relationship. Set some parameters during your engagement for how you will communicate about money and make financial decisions.

One of the best ways to head off financial discord is for each partner to lay all their financial cards on the table before tying the knot. Have a “full financial disclosure policy” in your relationship, which includes sharing and discussing what you own, what you owe, your credit reports, any ongoing financial obligations and any pending legal or financial problems – before you get married. To minimize conflict, fellow planner Kelley Long suggests couples set up a money meeting to explore each other’s beliefs and attitudes about money and how you’ll communicate about them when you disagree.

Managing Combined Cash Flow

Discuss in advance how you’ll pay for ongoing living expenses. An easy way to handle this is the “yours, mine and ours” method of budgeting. Make a spending plan for all your anticipated joint expenses such as housing, transportation, insurance, food, vacations, etc.

Decide how much each spouse will contribute from their income, net of retirement savings, to a joint account to cover joint expenditures. You keep what’s leftover in your individual accounts to handle as desired. If there are big disparities in income, consider having each spouse contribute proportionate to their income.  .

They’re Your Kids Now Too

If only one spouse has obligations from a previous marriage, this can be a trouble spot, so work out in advance whether you agree that child support, tuition and other kid-related expenses are part of your couple budget or the biological parent’s individual budget. I favor the first approach. In my relationship, we’ve always agreed that all child-related expenses for all the children are part of our joint budget and we discuss them like any other financial decision.

Fellow planner and stepparent Tania Brown agrees. “When you marry, it’s not his or her child’s expenses. It’s both of your expenses. Although blended you are one family.”

“Consider each child in your household, regardless of who the actual parent is, as YOUR CHILD,” counsels fellow planner Paul Wannemacher. “Do all you can to treat each child equally as possible and love them as your own. Financial considerations should never, ever be the determining factor affecting that love and commitment.”

Create a New Financial Plan

Going through the financial planning process together will help you and your new spouse reach consensus on your goals and how you will work to achieve them. The financial planning process allows you to identify financial priorities such as saving for retirement, buying a new home, paying for college or helping an aging parent, as well as steps you can take to get there. Retirement and college goals often look very different after going through divorce and remarriage. A CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional can broach difficult topics, facilitate discussions and help you reach agreement on a unified vision for your financial health as a blended family.

Redo Your Estate Plan

Our director of planner operations, Linda Robertson, encourages new stepparents to update their estate plans. New spouses should update wills, beneficiaries and trusts as many concerns can be addressed through good estate planning. She proposed that couples in good health consider life insurance to even out estate planning needs between children. “A spouse who is the joint owner or primary beneficiary on most of the marital assets could set their partner up with a decent life insurance policy that is split between his/her children so they don’t feel as if the stepparent is taking everything if their parent passes away first” said Robertson. Stepparents could also consider adding stepchildren as the contingent beneficiaries on their retirement accounts.

Keep Separate Assets Separate

Whether or not you have a pre-nuptial agreement, consider keeping assets you each acquired before your marriage in separate accounts. This is particularly important where there is divorce-related conflict with an ex-spouse. For the stepparent, this helps safeguard your separate property from inadvertent loss in case of a legal dispute arising from your partner’s previous divorce

How about you? Do you have any other financial planning tips for stepparents? Please share them via email at [email protected] or tweet me @cynthiameyer_FF.

 

How to Teach Your Kids About Money With An Allowance

June 08, 2016

Do you remember the financial lessons you learned from your parents or other close adults while growing up? No doubt your own financial habits and mindset are influenced to this day by the actions and attitudes you observed as a child. This is a good reminder that your adult behavior around money will most certainly affect your children and other young people who look up to you.

One great way to have a positive influence, even if you’re still on your own personal journey to financial security, is by paying an allowance. There is an ongoing debate about whether an allowance should be tied to household chores or not, but many people agree that it’s a great way to teach children about money and financial responsibility. Regardless of whether you believe children should work for their allowance or whether it should be a gift, here are some tips to make the most of this lesson for your kids.

Be consistent. One of the greatest things an allowance can do is teach your kids how to budget, which requires consistency of income. Whether you pay weekly, biweekly or even just monthly, do it on the same day and in the same amount so they understand the value of making their money last. Caving and paying kids early could be akin to payday loans, which is the exact opposite of what you want to teach your kids.

Help them set goals. This can help them see the value of skipping short-term wants, like candy, in exchange for reaching longer-term goals like a video game. One suggestion is to require kids to put one-third of their allowance into savings and one-third toward a charitable need like an animal shelter or church, with the remaining third available for immediate spending.

Introduce them to banking. Open a savings account for your child’s longer-term savings and show them how to check their balance online, pointing out how interest (however miniscule) accumulates, allowing their money to compound. This is also a great way to demonstrate that the ‘M’ in ATM doesn’t mean “magic.” That cash gets in there somehow!

What if you don’t have the money to pay an allowance? This was sometimes the case in my earlier years, but there are still ways to pass along the lessons even if you can’t pass along cash:

1. Use a grocery allowance. Allow your kids a certain amount of the grocery budget that they can spend on special treats or even for their breakfast foods, which you need to buy anyway. I’ll always remember watching a mom do this at the store. When her son selected an expensive yogurt smoothie, I heard her explain how that was a fine, healthy choice, but if he wanted that instead of the less expensive store brand yogurt for breakfast, he would have to put back the juice he had already chosen. The trade-off was tangible and clear.

2. Keep a written tab. If you don’t always have the cash available on allowance day, simply keep a written record by adding that week’s amount to your child’s tab and then when you buy something for them, subtract it from the tab. This isn’t a bad way to go even if you do have the funds as it’s closer to the way we are paid and spend money in modern times anyway.

3. Remember that it’s often more about the practice than the amount. Perhaps you can’t afford to pay the average $67.80 per month that’s the current going rate. Even just $5 a week can teach the lessons.

These are some great ways to use an allowance to raise financially responsible adults, but I know there are others out there. How do you teach your kids about money? Please let me know via Twitter at @kclmoneycoach or post on our Facebook page.

Life Lessons to Help Your Kids Start to Value Money at an Early Age

June 07, 2016

One of the greatest gifts I have been given is to be what is called a “first generation American.” My dad came to the U.S. over 45 years ago from Guyana to pursue a degree in law. The financial lessons I learned sandwiched between my American and Guyanese cultures have helped me to understand the value of money at an early age.

Money is earned, not given.  I do not remember ever getting an allowance. I worked and earned money, starting at about age 4. My dad was very clear on what work was. Work was helping out with household chores, cleaning my room without being asked, and getting good grades and reports from my teachers.

When I did these things, I earned money. If I did not, dad deducted the money I earned. I learned that I have to work to earn money and not to expect anything for free. Consider having your kids earn money instead of an allowance and hold them accountable when they do not do their work. You will teach them the value of money and to have a strong work ethic.

The pain of discipline or the pain of regret – my choice.  The money we earned was to pay for school activities, clothes and any extra expenses from a family outing (a balloon, toy, food, etc.) My dad held us accountable. Once the money was gone, so was our ability to pay for school activities and buy anything for an event. This taught us to think about the future and to budget our money for things we want to do.

When you give your children the money they earned, come up with a plan for it. In our home, our children give 10% and save 10% ,and we work with them to plan for how they will spend the rest. We make it clear, just like my dad, that once the money is spent there is no “Bank of Mom or Dad” to bail them out.

Be generous. My family were givers from as early as I can remember. We gave of our time but also our money. We gave money to our family in Guyana, to causes we cared about, and to our church.

This taught me from an early age that money is a tool that can be used to get the things you want but also to help others in need. It also led to feeling gratitude for the things you have. Teach your children the true value of money by having them donate some of their earned money to someone in need.

Of course, not every family is like mine. Your family and values may be different. Whatever they may be, come up with a game plan to set a strong financial foundation for your child(ren) so they can build a successful future.

How to Manage Financial Stress in a Chaotic World

June 03, 2016

Periodically, there are times I look at my daughter’s life and think it’s a great time to be her. Right about now is one of those times. She is doing a study-abroad session in Italy, and since I travel for work a lot and know my way around airports, she asked me to take her to the airport.

We live in Baltimore and we use BWI as our “home airport” so I am there quite frequently. I knew that her flight was booked from Philly instead of Baltimore, but when I put the trip into my calendar I simply typed “Take Jordan to Airport” in Outlook about two months ago. As time moved forward, the Philly part slipped my mind, and when I put her bags into my car, I immediately headed toward BWI. 

As we got to BWI, my daughter’s face went white, and she gasped “Why are we here?” (She had been texting her classmates and making sure that she had packed everything.) It was at that moment that I realized my error.

I needed to get to Philadelphia and FAST! I fired up my Waze app, drove well in excess of the speed limit and got her to Philadelphia well in time to get through TSA and customs well for her flight. It was not a stress-free endeavor, but all’s well that ends well. It ended well, so now I’m looking back wondering if there was anything that could have prevented my “stupid human tricks” or a lesson to be learned.

Once she was safely at her gate waiting to board her plane, we had a chance to recap our crazy mini-adventure and think about how it could have been a quicker and less stressful event. She could have reminded me that it was Philly because she knows I sometimes go on “auto pilot” because of a busy calendar. I could have been more descriptive in my Outlook calendar and done a quick check-in with her before leaving the house, saying “we’re off to BWI…correct?” Just a little bit better communication could have prevented a mini-crisis.

I see this with couples that I talk to on a regular basis. They are both working hard to earn their incomes, raise their kids and plan for the future – but sometimes things get missed in the chaos that is life in today’s world. Financial stress is one of the leading causes of marital disagreements and when it becomes too much to bear, it can frequently lead to divorce.

When one spouse handles the financial affairs and the other is completely disinterested and uninvolved is when I see the stress level being the highest with couples. The financial manager often feels unsupported and the financially uninvolved partner can feel powerless or at the mercy of the financial manager. There’s a simple way to avoid that. Weekly, bi-weekly or monthly financial meetings are a great financial management tool, can be done quickly and can keep two people on the same page.

Here’s all you need for a successful family financial meeting: a calendar (I love the ones from the mall kiosks that you see every year around the holidays), 10 minutes and a pen. Since I’m single, I schedule a financial meeting with myself every other Saturday. I pull out my calendar and using June 2016 as an example, will write my “Payday” on the 15th and 30th. I’ll write “mortgage” on the 1st, “utilities” on the 22nd and every other recurring bill that I have on the date that the bill is due. There are sometimes random bills that come up and aren’t in my monthly budget like car insurance, which I pay quarterly or doctor bills if one of my kids has had a visit recently.

When I see it all laid out on my financial calendar (I don’t put anything else on that calendar and I use my phone for all of my other calendars), it helps me stay on track. I’ve shown this system to some of my married friends and some couples that I’ve worked with to help them solve their financial stress. When they see how easy it is, they promise to try it.

I’ve heard from quite a few couples that both partners, the financial manager as well as the uninvolved one, feel much lower stress levels and the “fights about money” go away or are tremendously reduced after implementing this system. For anyone who is struggling with how to reduce the level of discord around your financial life, try this easy way to engage either yourself or your partner in a discussion about money. A calendar, 10 minutes and a pen are WAY less expensive than a divorce!

Thinking of Adopting a Pet? Read This First

January 13, 2016

If you’re thinking that it’s time to give in to your kids’ begging or your inner Dr. Doolittle and join the ranks of pet parents, make sure you’re prepared financially to deal with your new fur baby. There are ongoing costs and other things to consider. The cost of a pet, particularly a dog or cat, extends well beyond the adoption fee, which is relatively small when you add up all the other costs that come along with pet ownership.

Continue reading “Thinking of Adopting a Pet? Read This First”

Being Married to the “Money Doc”

December 16, 2013

This week, I will begin a series of blog posts about money and relationships. My wife, Heather (and the real brains of our family), had the idea to start off this series by exposing some lessons that we have learned along the way. Heather is self-employed full-time as an occupational therapist and specializes in working with incredible children who have developmental challenges. Despite occasionally minimizing the role she plays in managing our household finances, the reality is that Heather is also a co-financial planner in our household. Continue reading “Being Married to the “Money Doc””

Give From the Heart, Not (Necessarily) From the Wallet

December 19, 2012

Christmas is supposed to be a time of goodwill and cheer as families and friends gather to celebrate the holiday.  Unfortunately for some, this will also be a time of nerve-racking stress as they compete with other shoppers to find the best deals on gifts in an attempt to check off every item on their list.  In the end, many will have little more to show for it other than an upset stomach and a large credit card bill.  This year, rather than succumb to the pressure advertisers put on us to buy, buy, buy, let us instead choose to give, give, give. Continue reading “Give From the Heart, Not (Necessarily) From the Wallet”

How Buying a Video Game System Could Save Me Money

September 28, 2012

My kids always laugh at me when talking about video games.  Apparently, I’m the only dad that they know who does not own a video game system.  All of their friends have dads who play video games with their kids and when they are talking about “leveling up” or some new “zone” or “world,” I have absolutely no idea what they mean.  I’m a big fan of doing things with them that don’t involve video game consoles.   In fact, I haven’t played video games since Atari was “the” game system.  But, unbeknownst to my kids, that may be changing in the near future.  Continue reading “How Buying a Video Game System Could Save Me Money”

All in the Family: Intra-Family Loans

September 26, 2012

The current low level of interest rates can be either a bane or a boon, depending on your perspective. If you are in the market to borrow for a major financial purchase or investment and have decent credit, the situation is looking mighty good. New car loans are running between 3 and 4 percent, mortgages are now as low as less than 3%, and some federal student loans have again been pegged by Congress at 3.4 percent. Continue reading “All in the Family: Intra-Family Loans”

Should Married Couples Have Separate Accounts?

September 19, 2012

Susan and I have been married for seventeen years, and when we were first married, we decided to pool our financial resources and have one checking account. This made sense since at the time, we shared all of our expenses. In fact, for most of our married life we have maintained a joint checking account, but several years ago, I asked Susan to open her own checking account. With all of the different inflows and outflows of money, it was getting harder and harder to keep track of how much was available at any point in time, so I asked her to open a separate account as a way for us to keep better track of how much we could spend on food, clothing, and other expenses associated with running a household of four kids on a daily basis. Continue reading “Should Married Couples Have Separate Accounts?”

Why I Avoid Car Dealerships

September 05, 2012

Every once in a while, Susan and I will receive something in the mail telling us that there has been an automotive recall and that we need to take our vehicle to the nearest dealership so that they can correct a problem. We received just such a notice recently telling us of a defect in the airbag system that was causing some airbags to deploy when they were otherwise not supposed to. Naturally, this caused great concern, so we immediately called the local car dealership to schedule a time to drop off our vehicle in order to have the problem corrected. Continue reading “Why I Avoid Car Dealerships”