What Our Dads Taught Us

June 10, 2016

Since Father’s Day is right around the corner, I asked some coworkers what the best piece of advice their father gave them was. I’ll share their responses and add a bit of commentary with each one:

My dad is from Guyana and he stressed the importance of education in the U.S. He told me that my ability to grow my income will be based in part by finishing my degree- the rest is up to how hard I work.

As a dad who stresses the importance of education AND hard work (either one alone will not suffice), I totally agree with this dad’s advice. My kids have heard countless times that they are expected to do well in school and expected to put forth effort in all things they attempt to accomplish. This dad’s advice should be universally accepted as true wisdom.

Dad didn’t always say a lot, but he set a great example with how he prioritized his time.  He got to work early, was home on time for dinner with the family and helped us with homework if we needed it, then he went back to work until the job was done. If we had a ballgame or a concert, he adjusted his schedule to make sure to be there and he loved going to sporting events with me and my brother so he made that a priority as well.

Again, this is timeless wisdom from a dad who put family first. If more dads followed this path, perhaps we wouldn’t have many of the issues we see in this country today.

Don’t trust a man or get pregnant before having a job.

Well, this is certainly advice that served my coworker well. She’s a very independent and successful woman, and she’s raised lovely daughters as well. The principles of self reliance and good decision making that her father instilled, in his own unique way, have served her well. The lesson here, at least as I see it, is to find ways to communicate your financial lessons to your family members in ways that they will receive.

Mostly about being in a desperate situation or feeling down-trodden: 1 – You can’t fall off the floor. 2 – They can’t take away your birthday.

One of my favorite sentiments, this dad was all about the power of resilience. Resilience is a key trait in those who I’ve seen reach a high level of success. It’s what can keep a person moving forward toward a goal when most rational people would fold.

Have a firm handshake as it shows confidence.

A timeless pearl of wisdom, right there! A firm handshake and the ability to look someone in the eyes when holding a conversation sometime feel like “the way things used to be” rather than what I see in today’s higher tech world.

My dad was the one who taught me about how little changes add up. For example, when our credit union introduced debit cards back in the late 90’s, they were paying members $.25 PER TRANSACTION to encourage use of the card over checks. My dad was like, “Hot diggity, this is free money for spending money you’re already spending! You have to do this!” This was my first foray into taking advantage of rewards programs, discounts, etc, but ONLY on things I was going to buy anyway. I learned to be practical and frugal from my dad.

This dad should be a Financial Finesse blogger!!!

Your work ethic is something nobody can ever take away from you, so work hard and let it speak for you. It will take you further than your talent alone can and past the majority of people who aren’t willing to work as hard.

This reminds me of the first dad’s advice about education and effort. It kind of brings the list of dad tips full circle.

What I love about this list of tidbits from dads is that the children who received this advice ended up being successful adults and working here at Financial Finesse. Every single item on the list is also reminiscent of either what my grandfather taught me as a child or something that my kids have heard from me. None of these items seem like a “get rich quick” kind of message. It’s definitely a lot of tortoise and not much hare. If you absorb the messages from Financial Finesse’s dad squad, you are certain to be thankful this Father’s Day.

 

 

Life Lessons to Help Your Kids Start to Value Money at an Early Age

June 07, 2016

One of the greatest gifts I have been given is to be what is called a “first generation American.” My dad came to the U.S. over 45 years ago from Guyana to pursue a degree in law. The financial lessons I learned sandwiched between my American and Guyanese cultures have helped me to understand the value of money at an early age.

Money is earned, not given.  I do not remember ever getting an allowance. I worked and earned money, starting at about age 4. My dad was very clear on what work was. Work was helping out with household chores, cleaning my room without being asked, and getting good grades and reports from my teachers.

When I did these things, I earned money. If I did not, dad deducted the money I earned. I learned that I have to work to earn money and not to expect anything for free. Consider having your kids earn money instead of an allowance and hold them accountable when they do not do their work. You will teach them the value of money and to have a strong work ethic.

The pain of discipline or the pain of regret – my choice.  The money we earned was to pay for school activities, clothes and any extra expenses from a family outing (a balloon, toy, food, etc.) My dad held us accountable. Once the money was gone, so was our ability to pay for school activities and buy anything for an event. This taught us to think about the future and to budget our money for things we want to do.

When you give your children the money they earned, come up with a plan for it. In our home, our children give 10% and save 10% ,and we work with them to plan for how they will spend the rest. We make it clear, just like my dad, that once the money is spent there is no “Bank of Mom or Dad” to bail them out.

Be generous. My family were givers from as early as I can remember. We gave of our time but also our money. We gave money to our family in Guyana, to causes we cared about, and to our church.

This taught me from an early age that money is a tool that can be used to get the things you want but also to help others in need. It also led to feeling gratitude for the things you have. Teach your children the true value of money by having them donate some of their earned money to someone in need.

Of course, not every family is like mine. Your family and values may be different. Whatever they may be, come up with a game plan to set a strong financial foundation for your child(ren) so they can build a successful future.

Lessons Learned From A Home Ownership Dream Gone Sour

February 17, 2015

Recently, I was talking to a friend and she told me that she was selling her home because her American Dream of Home Ownership has become an American Horror Story. She then sighed and said if only she can go back and advise her former self. I asked her what she would say and she began sharing her lessons learned. Continue reading “Lessons Learned From A Home Ownership Dream Gone Sour”

Regrets…I’ve had a few…

August 08, 2014

As a dad, I often try to impart life lessons to my kids just like people did for me when I was growing up.  And, just like I did when I was their age, there is some eye rolling and a less than full understanding of the message being delivered.  Some of the lessons I try to impart on my kids deal with more optimistic, forward looking items.  Others are lessons I learned while making mistakes in my life.  Continue reading “Regrets…I’ve had a few…”