The 5 Things I’m Not Going To Do In 2018 To Keep My Sanity (& My Money)

December 26, 2017

Note from the editor: As we round out 2017, many people will be setting goals and intentions for the year ahead. To help with that, our blog team will be sharing their take on goals throughout the week — we all have a different opinion! We hope you enjoy hearing how each of us approaches the idea of goal-setting and New Year’s resolutions. From Tania:

It’s confession time. I started off the year awesome. I entered 2017 as a “woman with a plan.” I had everything planned from my meals to kids’ chores, house cleaning and workout schedules. I walked into 2017 with my head held high.

Fast forward to December and our meal yesterday was courtesy of a fast food drive thru, our home looks like a tornado hit it, and the only thing I have done with my gym membership over the last few weeks was to use my membership card to scrape ice off my car windshield.

Down but not defeated

I am down, but I am not defeated. I will rise again above last minute fast food runs, climbing over piles of laundry and my quickly expanding waistline. Our recent home purchase and move (at least this is the excuse I am using), coupled with several family emergencies, spiraled my plans into non-existence. So now that the dust has settled, I am working on getting back on track.

Taking time to reflect

As I looked at the shattered ruins of my 2017 goals (I gotta admit, I forgot how amazing Hershey Sundae pies taste), I immediately started reflecting on what happened. When I looked at my schedule over the past 11 months, I started to see how over-scheduled I was and my goal for 2018 became clear.

Making a ‘do-not-do’ list

For 2018, my goal is a more of an “un-do” list than a to-do list. It is a list of those things that I am not going to do to help me stop setting unrealistic expectations around the following:

1. Feeling bad about eating out. One night when I could not sleep, I binged on “perfect mom” YouTube channels. You know what I mean — the ones who never eat out, cook every meal from scratch, all organic, on a budget of five dollars. I initially thought, “if they can do it, I can do it.”

No, I can’t. I have good days and I have lazy days, and I have a life. So, for 2018 I am budgeting a few nights a week of eating out on our busiest days. For the other days, I am going back to meal planning using websites like Emeals, TheFresh20, or even using meal kit delivery. The lesson I learned from 2017 is that when things get crazy, maintaining my mental sanity trumps the spending on eating out a few times a week.

2. Wasting energy on emotional vampires. I know this is not a financial one, but all the money I spend on chocolate after talking to an emotional vampire (my drug of choice when overwhelmed, although Starbucks is a close second) puts this into a finance-related category. My lesson learned for 2017 is that I cannot want someone else’s happiness, success or goals more than they do. My 2018 goal is to release people (stop talking to them and/or enabling them) so they can experience the consequences of their life choices.

3. Volunteering for everything. The problem is that I want to be actively involved in just about everything, but I have to officially wave the white flag of surrender — I give up. I just can’t do it all. My plan for 2018 is to limit my volunteering and giving to those causes that are the most meaningful to me in order to keep my sanity and my funds straight.

If this is also something you struggle with, think through your year — if you have periods of major activity such as a busy work schedule, that’s when you have to say no to volunteering for additional activities. I tell my kids hearing the word “no” (which is a complete sentence) is character building. If you are like me and struggle to say no, tell yourself you are helping that person build character by getting them used to hearing the sentence, “No.”

4. Overly complicating money management. Believe it or not, this was an area that was unnecessarily complicated for me. I always say to choose the easiest way to do things in order to stick to your goals. So I finally took my own advice and started using my bank’s financial budgeting tools, instead of the budgeting system I was using. This small step has saved me so much time — I no longer have to reconcile my bank account with the budgeting website I was using.

If you struggle to do something, such as exercising or budgeting, look for the simplest way to get it done. For working out it may be downloading an app with workouts you can do anywhere; for budgeting it may be starting with your local bank. Struggle to get groceries? Use grocery pickup services like the ones at Walmart or delivery services like Amazon Fresh to make buying groceries a breeze.

5. Letting my kids do too many sports/activities. It only took a few activities before I found my days crammed with kids’ events and my wallet drained. To gain balance, we will be limiting activities and using the money we’ll save to increase our college savings. This will also give us back several hours in the week that were spent in the car or sitting at practices, games, etc.

“Un-resolutions”

I guess you can look at my goals for 2018 as an “un-resolution list:” a list of things I am resolving to dump or get rid of in order to maintain my sanity so I can focus on the things that are important to me. As you think about your year ahead and what you’d like to accomplish, maybe think about whether there are things that need to come off your 2017 to-do list in 2018.

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What Britain’s “Nudge Unit” Can Teach Us About Achieving Goals

May 12, 2017

In a recent episode of the Freakonomics podcast called “Big Returns from Thinking Small,” two members of “The Nudge Unit” (an arm of the British government designed to help save money) talk about the process they use to help improve processes and save money. They also dive into how they take that process home with them and make progress on their personal goals. It’s a 7 step process that could very easily be replicated by anyone to make progress on their own personal financial goals.

Step 1: Set a goal!

What is it that you’re trying to improve? Some examples are reduce your debt, increasing your retirement savings, buying a house, and building an emergency fund. These goals can be very simply stated and right to the heart of the matter.

Step 2: Make a plan.

This is where the goal becomes actionable. Using some of the above examples: Pay an extra $100 per month on your credit cards. Sign up for the rate escalator and increase your 401(k) contribution by 2%/year.

Step 3: Make a commitment (a public one).

I’ve done this with exercise goals. I have used the website stickK.com as well as their phone app to commit to a goal and have a “referee” to hold me accountable. I haven’t used my kids or my girlfriend as a ref because they’d likely be too lenient and let me off the hook. Instead, I’ve used friends and former teammates who will have no trouble telling me I fell short. Whatever your goal is, ask a couple friends to be your “accountability partner.”

Step 4: Have a reward or punishment in place.

For many people, it helps to have a reward or punishment system. Allow yourself to buy a few books or running shoes or something small but fun AFTER you pay off a credit card. Take a nice vacation AFTER you pay off your student loans.

Donate $50 to a charity that goes against every fiber in your being or wear the jersey of your most hated sports team if you don’t reach your financial goal. (If you’re a Game of Thrones fan, you could always ask a friend to get a bell and walk behind you, loudly saying “shame” if you fall short of the goal.) Knowing the consequences – good and bad – of your actions can help you stay focused on the task at hand.

Step 5: Share the goal.

Post your goal to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. so that you are publicly declaring your commitment to the goal. Ask your friends for support or see if anyone wants to join you in your quest to help make progress in their lives too. When I’m hiking, going uphill always seems easier when I’ve got someone with me to talk to. The same concept applies when trying to reach the top of the hill financially.

Step 6: Get feedback.

Measure your progress. If you have $10,000 of credit card debt and want it gone in 3 years (36 months), do an end of each month measure to see if you’re reducing $277.78 or more of debt. Tracking your progress and knowing exactly where you stand toward your goal can be massively motivating.

Step 7: Stick!

Practice progress. Celebrate it. Course correct when needed. Learn from the process.

Keep doing what’s working and do more of it if possible. Stop doing things that take you further from the goal. Be resolute and gritty on your way to reaching your goals.

This is the process that a unit of the UK government used to improve their processes and save money and helped the members of that unit replicate that success in their personal lives. It works. If you use this rough framework, you can nudge yourself ever so gently into reaching just about any goal that matters to you.

Step 1 in Retirement Planning: Set a Goal

May 03, 2017

It might sound cliché but as with any planning exercise, the first step is to just set a goal. After all, how will you know when you’ve gotten there if you don’t know where you’re going? How you’ll go about defining your goal depends a lot on how close you are to actually thinking about retiring as well as how you personally define the concept of “retirement.”

One of the challenges of setting a retirement goal is that it’s less of a set number and more of a moving target. How much you’ll need to have in order to stop worrying about how much is coming in from working depends heavily on how closely you want to mirror your working standard of living. Someone who will have their mortgage and other debt paid off and no dependents to care for can retire on much less than someone who will still have housing expenses or kids in college. If you’re looking at the more traditional definition of retirement by simply stopping work one day and living off of social security and savings, setting that goal can be as simple as running a retirement calculator and seeing if the age you’re hoping to retire is feasible considering your current savings amount and rate of saving. If you’re not on track to retire by the age you are hoping, then you’ll either need to push back your date, increase your savings, or decrease the expenses you’ll have to cover in retirement.

The closer you are to actually retiring, the more specific you can be with your planning. The Financial Finesse calculator gauges your goal based on whether you’re on track to replace a percentage of your income, but often people who are planning a significant reduction in living expenses and/or folks who are plowing tons of money away into savings during their later working years can get away with savings that only replace a fraction of current income. If you’re the type who thinks of retirement as more of a “financial freedom” day where you can pursue activities without concern for earning, then there are a few more variables. For example, if you’re thinking that you want to spend your second chapter starting a business, then your goal may be more of a dollar amount that will sustain you for a year while you build your business up to provide ongoing income.

If you’re a couple decades or more away from retiring, then the best way to set your goal is to aim for being on track to replace 80% of your current income. The closer you can remain to that target, the more choices you’ll have as the years go by. And if you’re getting a late start or the thought of quitting working feels more like an imminent reality and less like some hazy future that may or may not happen, then you’re better off using the “Equivalent Pay (Today’s Dollars)” amount in the Goal Calculation tab of the calculator to measure whether you’re close to your goal or not. If the equivalent pay amount doesn’t meet or exceed your anticipated annual budget in retirement, then you need to plan to work longer, save more or cut some expenses.

Retirement factor	Need less savings	Need more savings
My mortgage will be paid off	X
I want to start a lucrative business	X
I want to pursue a lower-paying passion project		X
I want to travel in style		X
I want to move to a lower cost region	X
I have a long life expectancy		X
I have health issues		X
I have family to help support me	X
I plan to work part-time	X
I plan to be a missionary in a third-world country	X
I expect to have a lot of expenses		X
I expect life to be pretty simple and cheap	X

How to Deal With Adversity

November 18, 2016

As I type this, I’m watching protests in the streets of several US cities and hoping that the protests remain peaceful. In my lifetime, I’ve never seen election results trigger this type of reaction. Whether it’s spontaneous or planned and well-funded is something that I’ll let the political talking heads debate. I’m also seeing college students being given the opportunity to skip exams and classes while they process the election results, which I find to be a bit ridiculous.

A huge chunk of life is about dealing with adversity and these kids are being taught by their institutions of “higher learning” that they don’t have to deal with it. As a person who has had to deal with many adversities over the course of my lifetime (it doesn’t make me special, it makes me human!), I have some rules to live by that make sense (to me) to put into place when things don’t go your way. These rules work when your candidate loses an election, when you lose a loved one, if you get swept up in a layoff, or if you tear your ACL pretending to be 20-something and taking on a physical challenge (not that I’d EVER do that):

1) Remember that this adversity is only temporary! If the person just elected doesn’t do a good job, he or she can be removed in 4 years. Most obstacles in life can be overcome, and for those that can’t, we learn to dull the immediate pain and find a new path to our goals.

2) Look at the small picture for a change. When I see something going on in the world that I can’t control, like the events of 9/11, I stop looking at the big picture and start to narrow the things I give time and attention to. I felt helpless to do anything on a large scale after 9/11, so my focus went to being the best father I could be. I spent extra time and attention getting my kids out of the house and into nature and talking about life. Sometimes those conversations got serious, but mostly we told stories, laughed and were reminded that while the world was a bit scary, our little circle was in great shape.

3) Focus on your personal goals, write them down and revisit them frequently. I have a few different “goal lists.” I have them for my work life, my personal life and my fitness level.

When I’m at my best, I look at these goals every day or every 2-3 days at worst. It helps remind me about what’s important in my life and that I can have a big impact on myself. That’s a much bigger level of influence than I can have on an election or similar obstacle. Remembering what’s important and having actionable steps to take in your own life is a great respite from the events of the world.

4) Give yourself a “time out” from technology. Unless your obstacle is a job loss, which requires a lot of the job search to be done via technology, shutting off the TV, Facebook, Twitter, etc is a wonderful idea. Your time is the most precious resource you have, so give the time that you’d normally give to technology back to yourself. Go to a museum, take a walk, read one of the classics that you’ve always wanted to read, sit by the water, hit the gym, ride a bike…do something to change up your routine and you may notice that a vacation from technology improves your view of the world.

5) Do something for others. When things in my life have been far less than ideal, I’ve made an extra effort to find ways to give back to my community. Volunteering at a homeless shelter or school, driving for Meals on Wheels, donating blood, visiting a nursing home with your dog, helping in some way at a children’s hospital — the list is endless. When we put ourselves and our problems away for a minute and help others who have far worse problems, an amazing thing happens. We realize how small our seemingly big problems can actually be.

In my life and yours, there will be days when we wish the day would just end and we see no real solutions to the things creating strife in our world. They can’t be avoided. It’s on those days that I hope you remember reading some financial planner’s blog and decide to give one of his suggestions a shot.

Start 2016 Right With This Reflective Exercise

December 30, 2015

As I reflect on the past year, I have plenty of personal milestones to celebrate (getting married and starting my career at Financial Finesse top that list), a couple things to mourn (my family lost two of our beloved pets), and quite a few more things to keep working on (this WILL be the year that I get back into those designer jeans!). Spending some time performing a “year in review” can be therapeutic. Recognizing how far you’ve come, even if you’re not quite where you want to be yet, is important to keeping you on the path to your goals. Continue reading “Start 2016 Right With This Reflective Exercise”

Nomads Don’t Have To Be Hobos

December 18, 2015

For some reason that I can’t quite figure out, I’ve been getting a bit contemplative about my future lately. Maybe it’s because my daughter is about to turn 20 and she’s been reminding me that I’m very old and falling apart so I should think about my future while I am still lucid. Letting my mind wander a bit to what my life could look like when my youngest goes away to college and I’m officially an empty-nester (unless they move back in!), I realized that I have a lot of options on the table. For my job, all I really need is a telephone, a good Wi-Fi signal and an airport. Those three things are available virtually anywhere on the planet. Continue reading “Nomads Don’t Have To Be Hobos”

The Less Than 2 Hours a Week Money Prescription

December 17, 2015

Our newest blogger, Cynthia Meyer, wrote an excellent blog post on Monday about a “two hour a week money prescription.” While I think her suggestions can work perfectly for many people, others may find that even two hours a week seems like an unrealistic amount of time to be spent on finances. If you’re in that camp, don’t worry! Continue reading “The Less Than 2 Hours a Week Money Prescription”

The Future Gift – One of the Secrets of Amazing People

September 15, 2015

Recently, I was talking to one of my fellow financial planners, Teig Stanley, about how his day was going. When he told me he was going to a funeral parade, I asked for more information since that is not a normal weekend activity. His comments about his friend who passed away, Manfred, and life in general were so thoughtful that I wanted to share it in his own words: Continue reading “The Future Gift – One of the Secrets of Amazing People”

Retirement Isn’t All About The Numbers

May 22, 2015

Once in a while, usually during a long cold winter in the Northeast/Mid-Atlantic area, my thoughts wander into a warmer place. I’ve joked that one of the requirements for my next home is that I have to be able to call the local Home Depot/Lowe’s and when I ask if they sell snow shovels, their answer MUST be… “NEVER! Not a single day during the year do we sell snow shovels.” It was while discussing that philosophy with a friend that she pulled up this article on her phone to discuss her retirement dream. She would like to explore the world for a decade or so and then settle down in whatever place she feels like calling home. That sounds like a pretty cool lifestyle and one that a lot of people would love to experience. Continue reading “Retirement Isn’t All About The Numbers”

It’s All About Perspective

March 27, 2015

Perspective can sometimes be situational. Our perspective today can be very different than it was a decade ago. I have a friend struggling with her birthday right now. She is about to turn an age that ends with a 0. Continue reading “It’s All About Perspective”

What to Do for 2015

January 16, 2015

I usually view “what to do at year end” and “what to do to start the new year” financial articles with great disdain (the same way I typically avoid writing “theme” blog posts for Valentine’s Day, Mothers’ & Fathers’ Day, Independence Day [is there any bigger cliché?], and any other over-played theme). However, I have spent most of my work hours early in 2015 talking to people who want to look at things they can do in the next 12 months in order to make progress toward becoming financially secure. It’s only because I have been asked so often that I’ll cave in, become part of the crowd and write a “What To Do for 2015” suggestion list. Continue reading “What to Do for 2015”

How Our History Can Help Us Shape Our Future

September 19, 2014

200 years ago, Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner in the Baltimore harbor near Fort McHenry.As a Baltimore guy, this past weekend was glorious. There were thousands of people celebrating the bicentennial of the Star Spangled Banner in the Baltimore area, tall ships from all over the world were in the harbor, the Blue Angels were doing aerial shows, there were fireworks and the Orioles were beating the Yankees in an important series. (That has no bearing on the bicentennial, but it makes being in Baltimore a lot more fun.) It was a great weekend to look back at our country’s history and reflect upon where we’ve been as a country and where we’re headed. Continue reading “How Our History Can Help Us Shape Our Future”

How You Unknowingly Sabotage Your Finances

December 19, 2011

My husband and I are simplifying our lives – we went from a 5 bedroom 3 bath house to a two bedroom condo. We gave our kids the extra furniture and other possessions we don’t need, and what they didn’t want went to charity. Instead of keeping china and crystal in a hutch (or in the closet) to sit and gather dust, except for twice a year for a holiday celebration, we are using it every day now. Otherwise, it will be passed on to our children who might not ever use it either! Life is slower and our pot roast and potatoes are displayed much more elegantly. Continue reading “How You Unknowingly Sabotage Your Finances”

Priceless vs. Pricey

June 01, 2011

You’ve probably seen the commercial. A father and son enter the ballpark as the voiceover says:

Two tickets = $46

Two hot dogs, two sodas, two popcorns = $27

One autographed baseball = $50

Real conversation with eleven-year-old son = Priceless Continue reading “Priceless vs. Pricey”

Financial Planning: It Starts with a Simple Goal

April 15, 2011

When I read the article, Sumo Wrestler becomes Heaviest Man to Ever Finish Marathon, about a Sumo wrestler who ran and finished the Los Angeles marathon and in doing so became the world’s heaviest man to ever finish a marathon (~400 lbs.), I felt inspired. If you look at most marathon runners, the LAST THING you think of is sumo wrestling. When you look at sumo wrestlers, the last thing you think of is long distance aerobic exercise. That’s what makes this story so interesting to me. This guy (Kelly Gneiting), not only did something that most people would think he had no shot at doing, he has set the bar even higher. He wants to swim the English Channel. He knows how to set goals and not only achieve them but set them higher again after reaching the 1st goal. Many people could learn a thing or two from him. Continue reading “Financial Planning: It Starts with a Simple Goal”