Why and How Caregivers Should Create a Personal Care Agreement

January 24, 2017

As my friends and I enter our late 40s and 50s,  I find we talk more about caring for our parents than any other topic. For some, the care involves an occasional check-in and phone call. For others, it involves full-time care. A few were even thinking of quitting their jobs so they can take care of their parents full-time.

If you find yourself facing the same decision, consider creating a formal agreement, known as a personal care agreement, that can help manage the expectations of the person receiving care and their family members and clarify the compensation the caregiver will receive. (You can see a sample here.) Before creating it, consider discussing your desires with family members to avoid conflicts and resolve concerns. Generally, there are three basic components of a personal care agreement:

  • It should be in writing.
  • Money received is for future not past care.
  • Compensation must be reasonable, similar to what a caregiver in your area would charge for the same service. Consider looking at online job agencies like Monster to find out the average pay for the services you will be providing.

The other parts of the agreement to consider are to:

  • Note when the care will begin as well as the expected length of the agreement.
  • Include where the services are expected to be given, such as the care recipient’s home.
  • Detail the services the caregiver will provide such as food preparation, transportation, etc. In addition to talking to the care recipient about the services he or she wants, consider consulting with the care recipient’s medical providers to determine the level of service needed. Assess the level of care the caregiver is capable of giving.
  • Estimate the expected number of hours or days of the week for the services to be rendered. Consider writing a plan to account for the caregiver’s time off such as illness or vacations.
  • Cite the amount of compensation and dates of payments. If the caregiver plans to live with the person they are caring for, consider including whether there is an expectation of payment for room and board.
  • Consider adding in an “escape clause” so each party can terminate the contract. This will go a long way in preserving the relationship.
  • Have the completed document signed by all parties (if the care recipient cannot sign, then the durable power of attorney agent should sign) and notarized.

As you can see, drawing up a personal care agreement can quickly get complicated. Consider consulting with an attorney. See if you have a workplace benefit for free or reduced cost legal services to help you write the agreement. Doing your due diligence can help alleviate stress and prevent a lot of conflict.

 

 

 

 

Does Your Aging Parent Need Help?

December 06, 2016

My father had a presence about him that made him seem larger than life. As my father started aging, we still saw him as invincible and initially ignored the signs that he could no longer take care of himself. As we celebrate this holiday season, take the time to observe your parents as well as any other elderly relatives to see if they may need help. My sister-in-law was the first to notice the changes in my dad so be sure to involve your spouse in the observation too. Look for the following warning signs:

1. Home in Disrepair – As you pull up to your elderly relative’s driveway, look for signs of disrepair. Does the exterior of the home need painting, is the driveway cracked, are newspapers piling up. (It may be a sign that she cannot move around as much).

As you enter the home, look to see if the home is more cluttered or disorganized than normal. Is there an odor? Is there a lack of food (he could have problems paying for food or he may not be able to travel to buy food) or does he have a lot of expired food? If you find there is a problem, consider talking to your relative. It may be as simple as helping them once a week or month or hiring a caregiver or it may be time to look for an assisted living facility.

2. Deteriorating Physical Health – Has the personal hygiene of your relative changed? Has she experienced unusual weight loss? Does he have unexplained bruising? (My father had bruises due to falling, but did not want to tell us.) Is she more tired than normal?

Does he have more bottles of medication than you remember? Is she actually taking her medication. (You can look at the date the medication was given and check the bottle. If it’s full after several weeks, she may not be taking her medication. If it’s empty after a month, she may not be able to travel to get  her prescription filled.)

Is he struggling to move around his home? First step would be to talk to your relative about his health. If possible, go to a doctor to understand any health challenges and if there is a need for a caregiver.

3. Cognitive Impairment. If you can, check his mail for late notices, bounced checks and collection notices. (This could be due to a lack funds as well.) These could be signs of forgetfulness. Does she seem to be confused or uncertain about doing tasks that were once familiar – cooking a favorite meal, playing a familiar musical instrument, recounting a favorite story she has told for years and/or forgetting a favorite song? Do you notice a change in his mood – more closed, angry, depressed or unusual mood swings?

If you have concerns about cognitive impairment, talk to your parent and if possible, talk to his physicians about getting your parent or elderly relative evaluated.

As I write this, I know firsthand that not all parents are cooperative. If your parent is resistant to talking about your concerns, be patient. Websites like AARP offer a wealth of resources on care giving. An aging life care professional  (sometimes known as a geriatric care manager) is a specialist trained to help with the care of the elderly. Ask questions to get to the root of why they are resistant.

Ultimately, it was a team effort that convinced my father to go to an assisted living facility where he is doing great. We got a lot of people involved, including clergy and a social worker, to talk to our father. The key is to respect how your parents feel, lovingly but persistently keep talking, involve as many people as you need, and take it slow. Consider using the holiday season not only as a time to spend with your loved ones but also to uncover a need for help. This could be the greatest gift you give your family member.

 

 

Basics for Financial Caregivers

November 21, 2016

If you’ve ever had to manage someone else’s money, you know it can be highly stressful. The responsibilities for managing a parent or other family member’s finances may have fallen on your shoulders suddenly or perhaps you had time to prepare to be a financial caretaker. It might be a responsibility you don’t even want or feel equipped to handle. Here are some resources to learn more about what your responsibilities entail and where you can turn for help.

What it means to be a fiduciary

Whether you have a power of attorney for finances or are a court-appointed guardian, a trustee, or a government fiduciary, you are required to act in the best interest of the person whose money you are managing. That’s called being a “fiduciary,” and it comes from the Latin word, “fiducia,” meaning trust. A fiduciary must act for the benefit of another person in a financial relationship and not for their own personal gain. The four basic duties of a fiduciary for a parent (or other person) are:

  • Act in your parent’s best interest;
  • Manage your parent’s money and property carefully;
  • Keep your parent’s money and property separate; and
  • Keep good records.

The first thing you must do is clearly understand the scope of your new position. Practically speaking, you’ll need to be very careful to follow the rules. For help, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) offers guides for four types of fiduciaries managing someone else’s money. They can all be downloaded here.

What’s a power of attorney?

A power of attorney for finances is a legal document that gives someone (called the “agent”) the legal authority to make decisions about your money and property. Generally, that legal authority kicks in when the person who granted it is sick or injured. CFPB help for agents under power of attorney can be downloaded here.

What’s a court-appointed guardian?

If a parent or other family member with diminished capacity has not made advance plans via a power of attorney and a judge finds that the person cannot manage their money and property alone, it may be necessary to ask the courts to intervene. Different states have different names for this, but the person appointed to take financial authority is often called a conservator or guardian. CFPB help for court-appointed guardians of property or conservators can be downloaded here.

What is a trustee?

A trust is a fiduciary relationship in which a person gives another person, the trustee, the right to hold title to property or assets for the benefit of a beneficiary (or beneficiaries). The grantor (e.g., your parent or other family member who sets up the trust) transfers money and property into the trust, which lays out the circumstances under which a trustee can step in to manage property and pay bills when the grantor is no longer capable. CFPB help for trustees under revocable living trusts can be downloaded here.

What is a government fiduciary?

A government agency may appoint someone to manage someone’s benefits if that person needs help. That person only manages the recipient’s benefits checks but not other financial affairs. The Social Security Administration calls that person a representative payee. The Department of Veterans Affairs calls that person a VA fiduciary. CFPB help for representative payees and VA fiduciaries can be downloaded here.

Look for signs of financial scams, fraud or abuse

Be on the lookout for sneaky business when you take over the finances of an older parent or family member, especially if it’s sudden or unexpected. Do you or your parent think that there is some money missing? Has your parent tried to send money to someone you don’t know? Are they not able to pay a bill they would normally pay, such as for the mortgage or electricity? Has a caregiver been informally handling their money or bills without full disclosure or legal authority?

Saying “yes” to any of those questions could indicate potential problems. As a fiduciary for your parent, be aware of financial scams and take steps to prevent them. Download the CFPB’s guide to preventing financial exploitation here.

Managing money for a parent or family member can feel like a huge responsibility, but it’s one you don’t have to face alone. Local and state agencies can also help provide resources, referrals, best practices and training. Start with the CFPB guides mentioned here and your employee assistance program to steer you in the right direction.

 

Do you have a question you’d like answered on the blog? Please email me at [email protected]. You can follow me on the blog by signing up here, and on Twitter @cynthiameyer_FF.

 

 

 

 

 

Managing Mom’s (or Dad’s) Money

September 09, 2014

I recently spoke to a caller on the Financial Helpline, where we provide over the phone financial coaching as an employee benefit through her employer.  She had just learned that her parents had deeded over the family home to her nephew, who was in his early 20s and barely getting by. Her mom had just recently settled into an assisted living facility at $5,500 a month due to an onset of dementia. Her dad, age 93, still lived at home with her sister and nephew and was getting worried he might go broke trying to pay for her care and he didn’t want to lose the family home.  Continue reading “Managing Mom’s (or Dad’s) Money”