5 Back-To-School Savings Tips You May Not Have Heard Before

August 09, 2018

I’ve talked with several people lately about how back to school shopping for their kids is so expensive. They are surprised by how much some items cost and even if they aren’t surprised, they feel like it’s never really in the budget. With a little bit of planning, however, it doesn’t have to be such a shock to the finances every year – I’ve also talked with friends who, while they agree it’s an expensive time of year, they feel they’ve mastered a few techniques to better manage the damage.

Here are some of the things those who feel more prepared are doing that you could help you get ready for back-to-school going forward.

1) Get next year’s supply list now. – If your child is in 2nd grade this year, go to the 3rd grade teacher and get the supply list for that class as well. Retailers know that parents need stuff right now, so you’ll pay full price. Wouldn’t it be better if you knew what you needed when that stuff goes on sale? Stocking up a year ahead of time can save you big bucks next summer.

I’ve heard some people say they were able to get a box of crayons for $.17 and notebooks for $.20. Wow! It’s best to buy staple items like notebooks, pens, pencils, paper, glue, folders, and pencil sharpeners, just in case the supply list changes a bit before your kid is ready for that next grade.

2) Add your kids as a line item in your budget. – Consider setting aside spending money for each child. You could start that now, at the beginning of next year as a beginning of the year goal, or even next year in May when school is out, but the key is to start saving at least a few months out. The money adds up overtime. To make it fit in the budget, you may have to cut back in other places. Check out some ideas on ways to save that you may not have thought of.

3) Take advantage of tax-free weekend, but don’t wait until then to start shopping. – There are definitely savings to be had during tax-free weekends, but you might find items on sale during that weekend are actually cheaper when fewer people are likely to be shopping for back to school items. Find out when your state’s tax-free weekend is this year and start planning ahead for what you’ll stock up on.

4) Think ahead when buying clothes. – As long as you have the closet space, shop the next size up when clothes are on sale. Even if you just get at least two weeks of clothing for your kid to start school and purchase remaining pieces over time to add to their closet, you might feel less pressure. You also won’t be forced to buy at a time when things are expensive, just because they happen to outgrow everything and don’t have anything to wear at that time. Sure, he’s a size four now, but if size five is on sale, use the money you set aside for him and get the next size up – he’ll need them eventually! (just be careful not to go crazy on trendy items and focus on the basics with this strategy)

5) Make money off those old clothes and shoes. – As your kids outgrow their clothing, consider selling it at a place like Once Upon a Child that buys gently worn clothing for others to be able to purchase from that store. Then, use the funds you make to replenish items in your kids’ closet. You can replenish it with gently used clothing from that same store or new clothing. Either way, you’re in control.

If you have young kids, back to school time is going to roll around for many years to come, so it’s a good idea to establish some money-saving habits now. Planning ahead and making the most of sales year-round can relieve a lot of the stress so you don’t feel like you have to borrow against your 401(k) or add to a high interest rate credit card balance that isn’t in your budget in order to get what your kids need for school.

6 Ways To Deal If Your Wedding Goes Over Budget

July 23, 2018

If you’re in the midst of planning your wedding and things have come to a screeching halt because you realize that the wedding of your dreams has gone over budget, hang in there. There is still hope.

It’s important to make sure your dream wedding doesn’t break the bank and leave you financially stressed. Many women spend a lot on a wedding dress they may never wear again. (I’m guilty: I can’t fit into mine anymore – though I have tried! – but even if I could, I’m not sure I’d actually wear it again.)

Ask yourself, once the excitement of the day is over, will we be happy if the price tag of this one day puts us over budget?

Here are some tips you can take to get back on budget and avoid paying off debt long after your wedding day.

1) Revisit your budget and determine where you went over. You have a budget, right? Go back and see where you maybe underestimated. Was it the flowers? Cake? Gifts for the wedding party?

2) Consider what’s most important to you and cut back on the rest. Don’t feel like you HAVE to have anything just because “it’s tradition.” People got married all the time back in the day without a limo or an aisle runner.

  • Spend on the stuff that will last, like a good photographer, and skimp on the fleeting stuff like transportation.
  • If you’re a foodie allocate more funds towards catering, but consider cutting back on entertainment.
  • If you couldn’t care less about alcoholic beverages, you might choose a less expensive alternative to an open bar.
  • Do you really need a parting gift for guests?
  • Will anyone really know if you cut back on flowers?

3) Leave “what’s her name” and “what’s his name” off the guest list. One quick and effective way to cut back is to simply invite less people.

  • Consider not inviting guests you really don’t have a rapport with.
  • Discourage your single friends from finding a random date by leaving the “and Guest” off invitations.
  • The “A-list” and “B-list” are a thing because it’s real — send your invites out to the most important people a little early so you can have a better idea of numbers, then invite B-listers only if there’s room.

4) Embark on a DIY (Do It Yourself) journey. This is where Pinterest comes in handy, although proceed with caution that it doesn’t derail you further.

  • Engage your creative side or ask a friend with a knack for decorating to help you with DIY décor.
  • You can save buckets of money by making things like your invitations, doing your own flowers or even making your own bridesmaid gifts.
  • Even better, consider asking a crafty friend to help out with one of these items as his/her gift to you.

5) Ditch that expensive venue. Barns became popular venues partly because they were cheaper, although nowadays the farmers have caught on. Let your love create the atmosphere rather than paying for a fancy location.

  • Search for a place that still has some bells and whistles, but is lighter on the wallet.
  • Try to find a place that’s all-inclusive rather than paying additional rent for things like chairs, a dance floor or even centerpieces. No one will know if the centerpieces aren’t unique to you, and nobody REALLY wants to take them home (besides maybe your mom).

6) Opt for a Friday or Sunday wedding when it’s less expensive. Many venues charge less for events on days of the week when they tend to be less busy.

The point is that your special day can still be amazing without breaking the bank or leaving you in an amount of debt that scares you. Staying true to what’s most important to you will keep you on track. Be sure you haven’t set yourself up for financial stress when all the excitement is over.

The Pros and Cons Of Paying PMI

July 18, 2018

When I first graduated from college, my plan was to rent for one year and then purchase my own home. When I look back at my financial situation at the time, I didn’t fall into the perfect financial scenario of home ownership: I didn’t have a 20% down payment saved that would have helped me avoid having to pay Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI), and I was still establishing a credit history, so my credit score wasn’t very high. I still purchased the home.

I’ve found that there are many others in that same boat. For various reasons, they don’t have 20% saved and/or their credit score isn’t what they would consider stellar, but they aren’t interested in renting for very long and still want to achieve their dream of home ownership sooner than later.

This is where PMI often comes in to play. PMI is there to protect the lender in case you default on your mortgage — what it means to you is that your mortgage payment will basically be higher than it would be without PMI. Having a higher credit score, and at least some form of a down payment (like 10% down) could make your PMI less expensive.

Should you wait to buy a home until you can avoid PMI? Some people prefer to do so, but others go ahead and buy the home. Here are the pros and cons.

Pros of PMI

1) Allows you to buy without using up all your savings. We all start off in different financial places. You may not have an inheritance, a large salary, a parent or family member to get a down payment from, or you may just not have the flexibility in your budget to save 20% of a home’s purchase price without compromising other savings needs, etc. It could take some people years to build enough to put 20% down on a home and in the meantime, that person might have to rent when they prefer not to. PMI can help you get there sooner.

2) Opportunity to build wealth sooner. Real estate values can fluctuate, but long-term, odds are that you will see the value of the home you purchase increase over the years. Eventually you may be able to tap into that equity by selling or obtaining a line of credit to accomplish another goal, etc.

3) You still keep control of your budget. There’s a tradeoff. Some people look at PMI as simply a cost to build wealth. If this is you, you might look at it as just another line item on your budget sheet. Make sure you factor PMI when determining whether your total mortgage payment fits within your housing budget.

4) You may be able to deduct the cost on your taxes. Congress still allows mortgage insurance premiums to be deductible as mortgage interest on your taxes. Be sure to stay abreast if tax laws eliminate or reduce your ability to claim this deduction, but for now, this falls in the ‘pro’ bucket.

Cons of PMI

1) Forego opportunity to save/invest that money instead. Let’s say your PMI is an extra $100 per month — you could take that extra payment and invest it instead over the long-term, which would help you to accumulate quite a bit in savings. This is very true, but is that what you would do with the extra hundred bucks?

2) Increases your monthly payment. To offset the cost of PMI, you could decrease spending in another area. You might spend less on a depreciating asset like a car, or cut back on how much you spend eating out or on your cable bill.

3) PMI can last for many years to come. PMI will be there until you reach 78 – 80% of the loan-to-value of your home (20% equity), or refinance (if the cost to do so isn’t higher than the cost to keep PMI) depending on the terms of your loan. As you make payments while the value of your home increases, you may find yourself getting closer to having that 20% equity sooner than you thought you would.

Keep in mind that the 20% equity is based on the home’s original appraised value when it comes to determining whether you have reached that 78 – 80% mark, so in order to take advantage of any increase in value since you purchased, you’d have to refinance to rid yourself of PMI sooner.

Also, as your financial situation gets more flexible, you might be in a position to add extra payments or a lump sum to your mortgage to help you get rid of PMI.

The bottom line

If you can save enough to get 20% down, that will save you on your monthly payment and you can put the money you would have spent on PMI towards another goal.

But if home ownership is important to you right now, and being in a position to avoid PMI doesn’t work for your situation, don’t be discouraged. Consider your budget and the pros and cons, so you can make an informed decision. It was worth it to me.

Check to see if you qualify for a First Time Home Buyer Down Payment Assistance Program that offers financial support that can be used towards the down payment and closing costs. Some plans count those funds towards that 20% requirement. You may also want to look into other programs, like NACA, which don’t require a down payment, closing costs or PMI in order to purchase a home.

 

I’m Pregnant! Here’s What To Do Next

March 14, 2018

Having a baby is an exciting time! It’s also a time to make financial adjustments. As my husband and I prepare to welcome our second baby boy within the next month, we are definitely looking forward to our new life and prepared for many aspects of our life to change, some more than others. Our free time, family time, and date nights will look differently than they do now. Our financial world will change also as our monthly expenses increase.

If you are expecting or planning to extend your family in the future, check out some of the things my husband and I have learned along the way about adjusting financially to a new baby.

Before the baby’s arrival

Prepare for additional expenses

1. Understand your company’s maternity leave policy and be flexible — you can’t predict every aspect of your leave. A few of my colleagues have shared excellent tips for this step:

2. Learn about the medical expenses involved. Ask your doctor’s office if they require you to prepay any maternity costs, like the fee for delivering your baby, and when the payment is due. My doctor’s office has a policy requiring pre-payment months in advance for your maternity and delivery costs.

In essence, I gave them an interest-free loan and now have a credit on file with them until they bill my insurance company once my son is born. However, the payment was required in order for me to continue seeing the doctor, so I had to comply.

When selecting your doctor, it’s a good idea to you inquire about how they handle those expenses and be sure you’re comfortable with their process. You may need to start budgeting to pre-pay before you even conceive if that’s required.

Check out Medical Bills 101: From Pregnancy to Delivery for additional guidance on potential medical expenses during this season.

3. Add in the cost for help around the house

  • Maid Service: The tail end of pregnancy can be tiring and may slow you down a bit. No matter how much of a superwoman you are, you might find that you could use some help around the house. Consider hiring a maid service to help with cleaning, dusting, organizing, or whatever your custom needs are. Just be sure to factor the cost into your budget. Ask friends, neighbors, coworkers for a referral. Groupon usually has some good deals as well. We finally broke down and hired a cleaning person a couple weeks ago and I can’t even tell you how much of a difference it’s made.
  • Food Prep: Things will be a bit busy once the baby gets here. Consider bumping up your grocery budget to account for a month or so of meal prep, potentially ordering in a bit more, or using a service like HelloFresh or Blue Apron to make preparing meals easier.

4. Start preparing for the cost of child care. We have all heard how expensive child care can be. If you are planning to return to work, it’s a good idea to start budgeting for childcare ahead of time. Maybe you’ll be open to having a nanny (a professional child care provider) or an au pair (often an international student who comes to live with you as a part of an international education program in exchange for childcare).

Your costs may even start during your maternity leave — you may just need a babysitter to watch your little one while you get a couple of hours away for self-care, run errands or to go on a date.

5. Prepare to update your health coverage. As soon as you can, you’ll want to make sure you add your new baby to your health insurance, but don’t wait too long — when you have a qualifying event like a new baby which allows you to make mid-year changes to your benefits, you’ll have a limited amount of time to make the change. Add a reminder on your calendar or wherever works so you can be sure everyone is appropriately covered.

6. Get your financial foundation in a solid place. You’re not going to be able to save for college or retirement until you’ve balanced your budget, controlled your debt, and prepared for emergencies. Even if this is your 4th child, your budget is going to change, so work to get a spending plan in place if you don’t have one already. Get your debt under control using the DebtBlaster Strategy. Finally, build your emergency fund so that you have enough to cover at least six month’s worth of expenses.

7. Try living on just one parent’s income. Even if you’re planning to return to work like I am, challenge yourself and your family to live on just one income during the months you’re expecting — this can be a great way to super-charge that emergency fund or help you to get through any unpaid time you take for maternity or paternity leave.

8. Learn about your other work benefits so you can make the most of them. Look into Employee Benefits New Moms Need to Know like the Dependent Care FSA that allows you to pay for daycare, and other eligible expenses pre-tax. You may also have purchase discount programs available for things like furniture, diapers and even baby clothes. Make the most of that!

Adding a baby to the family is an experience to embrace and enjoy! Putting some effort towards making sure you’re prepared financially will help you focus on the things that are more important during this season like creating experiences you’ll remember for a lifetime.

 

 

 

8 Ways To Make The Most Of A Big Raise

March 05, 2018

“I’m so tired of driving this old beat up car. As soon as I make some more money, I’m getting my dream car. I deserve it.”

“We have so outgrown this house. There just isn’t enough space for us, to entertain, or for anything really. As soon as I make some more money, I’m getting my dream house. It’s about time I get something I really want.”

“I can’t even remember the last time I had extra money to just splurge with. As soon as I get a raise, that’s the first thing I’m putting money aside for.”

Have you ever found yourself saying some version of these things to yourself? I can definitely relate — early on in my career, I often found myself daydreaming about the ways I would spend additional income.

Hitting the pause button

Depending on your line of work, big bumps in income may come along often or only rarely, but regardless, when they do, it’s easy to quickly start dreaming of a bigger home, nicer car or even just a fancier wardrobe. At the extreme, many of us think that having a higher income will make our lives easier, only to find that when we look back over the years of small increases, nothing’s really changed in the way we feel about our financial situations.

The next time you find yourself with a bump in income, before you start bookmarking properties or loading up your shopping cart, PAUSE. This is the perfect time to consider how to make the most of your new pay rate and to ultimately make sure that you never have to revisit these thoughts again.

Here are eight suggestions that may not sound very exciting, but when taken seriously, can get you to the point of NOT needing a big raise in order to have the life you want.

  1. Accelerate debt payoff – Use the Debt Blaster calculator to find out just how much sooner you can get those lingering student loans or credit cards paid off by adding a bit more to your monthly payments.
  2. Bump up your emergency fund – More income means you’d miss it more if it went away, so use this time to add to your savings BEFORE taking on more financial responsibilities (like a new car or a bigger house) that make it harder to do so.
  3. Max out your Health Savings Account (HSA) – Maybe you haven’t elected the High Deductible Health Plan (HDHP) before because you didn’t want the risk of having a big out of pocket hit, which often makes sense for situations where money is tight. Now that you make more money, the risk may be outweighed by the opportunity to save more tax-free for future expenses, like starting a family.
  4. Contribute more to your 401k – Retirement may seem way off (especially if it literally is), but saving more in your earlier years will give you more options for later years. Use the Retirement Estimator calculator as a way to gauge how even just one percent more saved at a young age could mean retiring a year or more earlier than you expect.
  5. Save for short and long-term goals in a Roth IRA – You can put an extra $5,500 into a Roth IRA for 2018, and even more if you’re 50 or older. When just starting out, a lot of people actually use a Roth IRA as savings account. Since whatever you contribute you can always take out tax-free and penalty-free, it can be a way to build up an emergency fund, while also boosting your long-term savings. Check out these 12 benefits of a Roth IRA on top of that. (By the way, you can still make a 2017 contribution to a Roth IRA by the tax filing deadline of April 17, 2018.)
  6. Purchase some stock through your Employee Stock Purchase Plan (ESPP) at work – If your employer offers an ESPP, it’s a great way to get more bang for your buck because you purchase shares of your employer’s stock at a discounted price. You can leave that money alone until retirement or some people prefer to sell right away to take the earnings from the discount, then put that money toward their next big vacation.
  7. Think bigger – Is there something really cool that you’d love to have, but always figured you could never afford, like a vacation property, or a cleaning person? Depending on how big your income jump is, and assuming you have the Big 3 (emergency fund, no high interest debt and saving enough for retirement) in place, perhaps it’s time to shift your money mindset to something you never considered a possibility before, rather that using the additional money to just upgrade to a bigger house or fancier car.
  8. But not too big — Beware of lifestyle inflation: our “needs” tend to grow as our income grows. I’m not suggesting that you continue to live like a college student, but living below your means is the key difference between most “everyday” millionaires and those who may earn the same salary, but spend every dime they have.

At the end of the day, the point is to enjoy life and a part of enjoying life is having enough money to pay the bills and save for the future while still living in the moment! You put in the hard work needed to get to this new income level. Now, make the most of it by putting some of that extra money towards living life now and making sure you are financially stable in the future.

3 Times You Should Avoid Using Your Debit Card

February 20, 2018

One way to make sure you don’t spend more than you make is by sticking to cash only by using our good old debit card. That helps you make sure that you’re only spending what’s available in your checking account and can be an easy way to budget, as long as you’re setting money aside outside of your checking account for emergencies and other goals.

However, there are some instances where you may not want to whip out that debit card. Here they are, along with a hack to make sure you’re still basically using cash.

1. When checking in to a hotel

What’s the point?

These days most hotels have a disclaimer at their check-in desk about using a debit card to check in. What is the deal with the “extra hold on funds” or “pre-authorized” holds on your debit card or credit card when you check into a hotel? Since they aren’t actually charging you, and it’s a hold that will likely fall off, it doesn’t really matter, right?

That depends. From what I’ve seen, the range of the hold can be anywhere from $50-$200 per day in addition to the actual cost of the room, including tax. The hotel is essentially protecting themselves in case you decide to destroy the room and is establishing a line of credit for expenses you might charge to your room. And as long as that hold is in place, your bank considers that money spent.

For some, this is no big deal. For others who might be traveling on a tight budget and don’t have extra money just laying around in their checking account to be held up as temporary holds, this could pose a problem. Trying to spend those held dollars before the hotel releases it could lead to an overdraft in your account, even though the hold eventually goes away. As you may know, overdraft charges when money is tight often become like a snowball where the fees lead to further overdrafts and further fees. Ugh, what a way to ruin a trip.

What can you do instead?

You can still use your debit card to pay for your room, just make sure you use a credit card to check into the hotel instead. Yes, I said your credit card. When you check out, make sure you go to the front desk and use your debit card to actually pay for your hotel stay and let the hold fall off your credit card.

2. When shopping online

What’s the point?

Sometimes it seems like the internet is just one big hackathon with thieves stealing your info no matter how hard you work to protect it. Simply put, when entering payment information online for a purchase, there’s too much risk of your debit card number being stolen. Someone could literally wipe out your bank account and send your account into a spiral of bounced checks, returned items, and those pesky overdraft fees.

Also, the rules around debit cards and fraudulent transactions add in a time restriction, typically 60 days. If you’re late at realizing someone made unauthorized transactions on your account and you don’t report it within the allotted time frame, you could be out the money for good.

What can you do instead?

You might think I’m crazy for suggesting this, especially if the reason you’re sticking to cash is because you’re prone to overspending online, but… you probably should use your credit card when shopping online since it’s much easier to get things resolved if your account number is stolen. An important difference is that a fraudulent transaction on your credit card does not deplete your funds in your checking account.

The transaction won’t eat up money you’ve budgeted for important items like your mortgage, rent, your kids’ daycare expenses, etc. Credit card companies are also much quicker with crediting your account back to make you whole from unauthorized transactions.

To stick to the cash-only plan, just take an extra step after completing an online purchase to log onto your credit card and make a payment from your checking account in the amount of your charge. Voila, you’re basically still spending cash, but without the risk to the rest of your balance.

3. When making a big purchase

What’s the point?

Most credit cards offer purchase protection, so if your new washer bites the dust and the manufacturer won’t help, you can put your card company to work for you. It’s much cheaper than an added warranty and usually just as effective.

What can you do instead?

Use a credit card to gain that protection, then immediately pay the balance with cash in your account, just like shopping online.

Of course, for those who are simply not comfortable with credit cards or feel your financial situation is much better off leaving credit cards out of your life, just make sure that you pay close attention to your checking account, so you can address unauthorized transactions ASAP. I suggest checking in each morning as part of your smart phone routine — after checking email, Facebook and Instagram, make a quick check to your bank account to make sure there are no surprises.

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Should You Buy Or Lease A Car? 5 Questions To Ask

November 17, 2017

It might not always seem black and white when it comes to deciding whether to buy or to lease a car. There are pros and cons to each, but there are some things to think about that may have you leaning more in one direction. It also helps to calculate your potential savings to see which makes more sense. When deciding, ask yourself these 5 questions, which should help.

How do you feel about your overall monthly costs?

As long as you lease, you’re renting the car, so you will have a monthly payment. A few things about that:

  • If the thought of always having a payment bothers you because you’re looking for ways to minimize your monthly expenses, you may want to buy a car rather than lease. If you really want to get a big bang for your buck, consider buying one that’s a couple years old with low mileage. Here are some ideas to get the best deal when buying a car.
  • You will have a choice to buy the car at the end of the lease, but the details of the contract matter if you decide to go that route.

Does your current vehicle look like it went through a war zone?

Wear and tear matters with leased cars, so consider the following:

  • If your kids will likely add their own touch, leaving behind stains on your car seats and carpet or you simply find it hard to keep your car in good shape, you may want to purchase instead of leasing. If you return the car in a condition outside of what’s considered “normal” wear and tear in your lease contract, you’ll be responsible for some additional costs. Check the terms of the potential lease for the specifics.
  • If you buy a car, you can pretty much do as you please since you own it. Wear and tear matters more if you want to resell the car at some point later down the road.

How fast do you rack up miles on your car?

There’s typically a limit to the number of miles (usually 12,000 – 15,000 miles per year) you can put on the car during your lease contract. Going over that limit will be an extra cost.

  • If you know you’re likely to go over the approved mileage, but still prefer to lease, consider purchasing additional miles upfront.
  • If you want to drive as far as you want and as often as you want, without restrictions or any additional costs, purchasing might make more sense.

Do you value being able to switch from one new car to the next every 3 or 4 years?

Leasing is an easy way to stay up to date with the newest models available.

  • We all have things that we value and are willing to pay for. If being able to drive the latest and greatest car is something you fancy, the lease could work great for you. Just make sure that constant monthly payments fit within your budget.
  • If you aren’t really into cars or you are the type to keep a car for 10 years, without payments, and feel like you’ve won, purchasing will likely make you feel more at ease.

Do you need a car, but you’re short on cash or don’t want to use your savings?

Depending on where your credit stands, you can typically get into a leased car for either no money down, or very little upfront and you usually have a lower monthly payment.

  • If you want to get into a car without eating up too much of your savings or lack thereof, a lease could work for you.
  • If you don’t want to return the car in the end or be faced with a choice to purchase it or go another route in 3 years at the end of your lease, you may prefer to simply purchase a car upfront.

The decision to buy or lease is a very personal one. It depends on your financial situation and what you prefer and value.

Either way you go, arm yourself with knowledge. If you decide to go with a lease, be prepared to negotiate the terms of your lease. If you decide to purchase a car instead, know what to consider whether you decide to go with a used car or a new car.

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The 8 Things That Saved Our Sanity When My Husband Went Back To School

November 08, 2017

When my husband and I first made the decision that he would stop working and go back to school full-time to take accelerated classes towards a nursing career, we were both pretty excited.

Sure, there were sacrifices involved. He’d sacrifice his desire to work and have a steady income for a short time as well as give up most of his free time to studying. I’d give up some luxuries so that we could cut expenses, and I’d need to hold down the fort when he needed to study, especially around exam time.

The thing we didn’t anticipate

What we did not really think about was some of the stress that came with our decision. Now, if you are superman or superwoman and you can do all things, that is awesome! I admire you! I have friends like that, but sometimes, I can’t find my cape. So, if you find yourself in a similar situation as us and you aren’t feeling superman-ISH and superwoman-ISH, I’m here to help you.

Here are some things that have helped us keep our sanity along the journey.

1. Control the emotional rollercoaster. Talk about your concerns and remember that you are both making sacrifices, so you’re in this together, fighting on the same team. It makes the journey so much better if you don’t spend your time arguing.

2. Be prepared to experience hiccups along the road. The spouse going to school is human and may not get an A+ on everything and may need to repeat a class. If you’re the one in school, don’t give yourself a hard time about that. If your spouse is in that situation, give him/her some grace.

3. Stick to a realistic budget. All work and no play is just boring and it’s not sustainable over a long period of time. Create a monthly spending plan, so that adjusting to your new level of income won’t leave you with more bills than money at the end of the month. It also will keep you from being disappointed when you aren’t able to conquer the world like you used to.

For instance, you may not be able to ramp up your savings of your own or for your kids’ college education during this time. This may not be the best time to accelerate your student loan payments either. Just remember that this is a temporary situation.

4. Get a head start and at least create a plan you can tackle once you are back to two incomes. That really helps us when we get to feeling stressed.

5. Have an outlet for you both. Remember, neither of you are robots. You need an outlet. I cut back on getting my hair and nails done as frequently and signed up for a personal trainer at the gym. (Best shape I’ve ever been in, by the way, and it’s a stress reliever.) Find budget friendly gyms in your area. Facilities like YouFit and Planet Fitness have great deals for gym memberships on a budget. Or sometimes you can get corporate discounts for gym memberships simply because of where you work. Check with your employer to see which gyms might offer additional perks.

My husband is an avid car lover and found his outlet by working part-time at a friend of the family’s mechanic shop. DOUBLE WIN! He had an outlet and we had additional cash to go enjoy ourselves!

6. Don’t overthink dating, JUST DATE! Everything you do does not have to be over the top or complicated. Walking around the lake or park, holding hands and talking doesn’t cost a penny…Well, except for the gas you use on the way if you have to drive, but you get the point. Groupon is your friend. Try a new experience together. 

The point is that consistent dates are important. Most of what I read says you should go on a date once a week. Wow! We have a 2-year-old and are still working on the consistency part. Like I said, I’m not superwoman.

7. Give yourself some grace about household chores. If it’s been a long day with work, school and the kids, consider leaving the dishes in the sink until tomorrow, or letting the dishwasher do the job.

If the thought of that makes you stress out, and you can find room in your budget, consider hiring a maid. You can have the maid service twice a month, once a month, whatever you can afford. Added bonus: You can still take credit for the clean house. Hey! You did the leg work to hire some help.

A lot of people have had a maid at some point, so you may be able to get a referral from a friend, family member, or co-worker. You can even check out Angie’s List. Don’t forget you might find a deal on Groupon, too.

8. Get help before things get out of hand. If you find it challenging to talk and your marriage is on a very rocky road, consider marriage counseling with the pastor at your church or seeking marriage counseling outside of church. Be sure that you and your spouse can both relate to, and feel comfortable opening up to the counselor.

Another option is to check with your employer. Many companies offer free/discounted counseling services to their employees through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

Keep the end-game in mind

The most important thing to remember is that your decision is going to better position your family to live the way you really want to in the long run. For us that means a number of things like more family time, and an overall better quality of life. Stick together, keep the end in mind and remember all your sacrificing will soon pay off.

And for those of you who listen to TD Jakes: Just remember these are light afflictions during a short time in our lives.

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