Making the Most of Family Gatherings

January 20, 2015

Family gatherings are a great time to catch up on the latest happenings of family. I love seeing how much taller my nieces and nephews have grown. I especially love watching the new parents, with a look that is a combination of wonder and terror mixed with love as they look at their newborn babies.

But when my mother recently lost her brother, we learned how much it would have helped had his children known of his final wishes and more importantly, knew where to find all of the estate documentation. My mother realized that if something happened to her, whether death or incapacitation, we would all be in the same boat. As a result, we decided as a family to use one of our family gatherings a year to not only spend time enjoying each other but to plan for the unexpected.

The first time we did it, she explained what she wanted to happen, showed us where her documents were kept, and shared information about her financial adviser, her lawyer, and even her pension. She made sure that she kept all documents in a central location so we can easily find them. Below are some of the documents she put in a fire proof safe:

  • A copy of her will, living will, and power of attorney for healthcare and finances
  • Her financial information: bank accounts, investments, even Social Security statements
  • Deed to the home, copy of the car title, a list of her assets

These meetings now only take about 10 minutes and the focus of the meeting is a quick reminder and any updates, like a change of bank information or advisers. Surprisingly, the meetings aren’t morbid. My mom did a great job making it fun. She gives out prizes like her amazing cookies if you remembered what she told us during the last meeting.

Her meetings are not about death, but about how the planning will make our lives so much easier, one less thing for us to think about. I encourage all of you to consider using some of your family’s gathering time to review you or your parent’s estate planning information as well. Even if you don’t make it as fun as my mom does, one day they’ll certainly appreciate it.