What I Overheard at Panera…

August 31, 2012

I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day trying to get some work done.  The power at my house was out because of some pretty wicked storms, so I had to relocate to my local Panera for a great salad and lots of coffee.  For those who haven’t been to Panera, it’s a pretty wide open place and you can often overhear the conversations of others.  I tend to be a “glass half full” kind of guy and I’m always looking for ways to solve problems.  My kids know that if they come to me with a problem, my first question is going to be “what do you think you (we) could do to fix that problem?”  (I am hoping to help raise future problem solvers.)

I heard two conversations near me where people were using the phrase “the problem with that is….” and then some problem was outlined with no solution.  I decided to “keep score” of the conversations I overheard.  I got very little work done while I was there…

I probably spent 3 hours on a cozy chair in Panera keeping score of negative vs. positive comments, as judged by me.  And at the end of my time there, the score was overwhelmingly in favor of negative comments.  It seemed to me like I was surrounded by pessimism and negative thoughts, so I turned to my childhood hobbies for some inspiration.   I can always find hope and optimism in the world of sports and in the lyrics to some songs.  So, I bought some tickets for myself and my kids, and I am taking them to a concert soon.  And then I looked at some of the sports I played as a kid and found a really cool story from the world of skateboarding.  Yes, even financial planners were skaters in their youth…

This amazing story about Aaron “Wheelz” Fotheringham blew me away.  Wheelz is a spectacular athlete.  He was born with Spina Bifida and has no use of his legs.  Watch the video in the linked story to see just how spectacular Aaron’s feats are.  You’ll be blown away!  I know I was…So, what’s the point of all of this?

Your perspective on life matters!  I often hear in meetings with employees things like:   “I’m lousy with my money,” “I’m terrible at budgeting,” “I can’t seem to get a handle on my finances,” “No matter what I do, I always feel like I’m treading water or falling behind” and similarly negative internal messages.  I remember a coach from my youth telling our team “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you’re right!”   As a kid, I really didn’t understand what he meant, but as I’ve grown older, I completely understand it now.

The internal messages we give ourselves daily are very powerful.  If you believe you’re lousy with money, you will be.  If you believe you can’t ever get ahead financially, you’ll be proven right.  Without sounding too much like a motivational speaker, the key to making progress financially is often changing the internal messaging that you send yourself.   A lot of the financial counseling sessions I take part in with people have a part financial/part psychological feel to them.  If you are able to wake up, get yourself ready for work and get through a work week, then you have all the skills you need to manage your money well.  If you aren’t, one of the first things you can do is to change the way you talk to yourself.

For example:  Start telling yourself that you are starting a journey toward being a great personal money manager.  Tell yourself that you in fact do have the skills to get ahead financially and that you are going to set some reachable and meaningful goals to ensure that you get there.  I have written a lot about goal setting and how important that is. It is a HUGE element of financial success!  But…before you set your goals, this very crucial step of giving yourself the right messages, believing that you can make a difference in your own life, trusting yourself to always make forward progress is what will help you reach the goals you set.  The messages you give yourself is like your “pre-goal-setting” homework.   If you give yourself the right message and then set meaningful yet reachable goals, you can make tiny little changes today that can have a huge impact on your future.  It starts with your thought process.  Listen to “Wheelz”!  He knows what he’s talking about……….