How Would You Answer This One Question About Your Life?

December 13, 2018

Each year on my birthday, I like to spend some time reflecting on the past year and setting intentions for the year to come. Since it’s so close to the New Year anyway, it feels especially appropriate. In years past I’ve tried setting Big Hairy Audacious Goals (aka “Be-HAGs”), including plotting out exactly what I need to do each month to get there, but after several years of reading over the past year’s goals and laughing at how I never really even started the plan, I’m switching my tradition.

The question I’ll start asking myself

I came across an article recently where the author suggested that everyone take time to answer the same question every year, and write the answer in the same journal. The question is:

What is the meaning of my life?

What that question actually means to me

It would be easy to over-think this because hey, do we ever really know the meaning of our life until it’s often too late to do anything about it? The point of the exercise however, isn’t necessarily to figure out the meaning of your life, it’s to state very simply what you think the meaning of your life is RIGHT NOW. As I think back how I would have answered that question in past years, it’s easy to see how insightful and encouraging this simple moment of reflection and projection can be.

How I would have answered it in the past

Two years ago on my 39th birthday, I would’ve answered that the meaning of my life was to become a mother. As I embarked upon a frustrating and ultimately unsuccessful (not to mention expensive) quest to get pregnant that year, I found myself searching for meaning as my 40th approached last year.

Because the fertility treatments I endured (two rounds of egg retrieval, which yielded exactly zero healthy embryos for implantation) were so hard on my body, I almost literally rolled into 40 about thirty pounds overweight, feeling fat, sick, weak and a little lost.

Therefore last year on my 40th, I definitely would have said that the meaning of my life was to get healthy. That involved more than just adjusting my diet and exercise, it also involved giving myself the grace to grieve the life I’d always thought I’d end up living and to begin envisioning an alternate, and just as meaningful, future.

How I’m answering it this year

As I celebrate my 41st birthday, I’m proud to say that I’ve lost over 15 pounds and am back to feeling strong and healthy – there’s more I’d like to achieve in my nutrition and fitness goals, but I feel more in control and once again healthy. While my intention to be healthy won’t go away, it no longer needs to be the primary focus it was last year. I also feel ready to embrace the amazing opportunities in my life that are available because I WON’T have kids (more on that in my 2019 goals post).

For the coming year, I think the meaning of my life is to, quite simply, share love. I will make a conscious effort to spread all the love I have to share with family, friends, my amazing colleagues (who are, quite honestly, some of my very best friends as well), animals, the people I work with through my job and the world at large. This means that I will abide by the 2nd agreement from The Four Agreements: Don’t take anything personally, including remembering that nothing others do is because of you — I will work to give others grace and caring, rather than getting upset when someone behaves in a way that conflicts with me.

On one hand, this sounds like a Be-HAG to me – living life 100% from a place of love isn’t always easy in today’s world. On the other hand, I’ve learned that when I approach others with love, especially in the face of stress, anger or frustration, the outcome is almost always better, both for me and for everyone else.

I know this post doesn’t really have much to do with financial wellness, but in a bigger picture way, it kind of does. When we examine our lives and set intentions and meaning to it, we allow abundance to flow and contentment to prevail. When those things happen, we naturally experience less stress in all areas of our life, including financially.

What would you say the meaning of your life is right now? If you don’t like the answer, it’s the perfect time to decide what needs to change so that you do.