Why You Should Consider An Ethical Will
April 10, 2019Most the time when we talk about the importance of estate planning, those conversations focus on the need for people to formalize the legal documents we associate with an estate plan: a Last Will and Testament, beneficiary designations, asset titling, trusts, etc. To be sure, those are very important things to have in place for a lot of reasons.
Beyond that though, there is one estate planning document that is optional but could be just as important to those most important to you – an ethical will, which is sometimes just a letter to your family.
What is an ethical will?
For this post, I am going to use the terms ‘ethical will’ and ‘family letter’ interchangeably. Simply put, it is a way to pass along the non-material things you have acquired over a lifetime to your loved ones. A way to express to them what you value most in your life.
Passing along those things you can’t value
This idea goes back in time and across multiple religions and cultures. Some examples for what it may include are:
- Your values
- Life lessons
- Stories from life about key moments or key people in your life
- Your hopes and dreams for your family and friends in the future
- Expression of forgiveness to those you wish to reconcile with
It is not a legal document – it will not distribute any material assets to anyone.
Why do an ethical will?
The truth is that none of us are defined by the assets we have acquired when it is all said and done. We are remembered by the people we impact and the way we live. An ethical will is a way to tell those you love what they mean to you and what you hope they learned from you along the way. What a beautiful gift.
Shaping and sharing your legacy
Sadly, I lost my father 10 years ago. While I miss him dearly – from his sage advice in times of trouble to his amazing sense of humor – I think about him daily and the lessons he taught me are never lost. That impact means more to me than any material wealth he could have left for me or my mom and sister. A family letter is a great way to document those feelings and lessons for all time. What a blessing!
How to create your own ethical will
There is no one-size fits all way to do an ethical will – since it’s not a legal document, it can really be anything you want it to be. Celebrations of Life is a great resource to help you get started, but it is a deeply personal thing that should reflect who you are.
A chance to get creative
It can be written or done on video – how cool that your family would be able to watch any time they need to! My colleague Brian had a friend who made a video of how to grill a good steak for his young son when he found out he wouldn’t live to teach him himself. And this is not something that needs to be saved until your death. Share it while you are still living if you would like. Again, there is no one way to do this.
Including an ethical will or family letter in your estate plan helps to pass down the essence of who you are to your loved one. This added step goes beyond making sure your family is taken care of financially by reminding them of what matters most in life. What a beautiful gift!