4 Steps Women Can Take To Keep Their Life Options Open
March 08, 2018It’s no doubt that there is no greater time to be a woman in the history of our civilization — I agree that there’s still a lot of work to be done, but I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be alive right now as who I am today. It’s true that there continue to be barriers for women, particularly women of color, but generally speaking, we have more choices today than ever before. In fact, we have so many choices that it can often lead to a tremendous amount of second-guessing and anxiety.
Saying yes is also saying no
As Elizabeth Gilbert (whom I consider to be one of my personal mentors, even though she doesn’t know it) put it once, when we make a choice in life, we are also saying, “no” to hundreds of other choices — saying yes to becoming a financial coach for me was saying no to opportunities in musical performance, environmental work and fitness. In today’s society where we get to see how everyone else’s choices play out on carefully curated Instagram feeds, it’s waaaay too easy to get caught up in second-guessing our choices.
“Should I have broken up with that guy sooner so I could have kids? Should I have pursued that opportunity to champion recycling at governmental facilities? Do I really want to close the chapter on teaching fitness?” These are questions I’ve asked myself and the reason I have quotes all over my house reminding me that, “All things happen in God’s perfect timing,” and “…no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
Keeping your options open
Many of my friends, colleagues and people I’ve had the honor of working with express similar doubts, although often not as deep — sometimes it’s as simple as, “I just wish I hadn’t used my credit card to fund that shopping spree last year.” Regardless of your certainty (or lack thereof) of your life choices so far and the future you’re embarking upon, there are some financial moves that you can make in the meantime that will keep your options open as you navigate this time of tremendous opportunity for women.
4 steps women can take to keep their life options open
1. Eliminate debt ASAP. When I was first starting my career, nothing stressed me out as much as the self-flagellation I endured every time I thought about what else I could be doing with the $300 per month I was paying on my credit card that I’d run up on stupid things like clothes and food. In the three years it took me to get to balance: $0, I limited pretty much anything optional in life. But it was worth it — being debt-free allowed me to leave a marriage I hated and also later allowed me to leave a job I hated.
2. Get confident about investing. Studies have shown that women are better investors than men, but we’d never know it — it’s by default because we are more cautious and shy away from going big in areas where we don’t feel 100% confident that we know what the heck is going on. The majority of the women I work with on investing choices and education are actually doing everything just fine, they just don’t know it. The sooner you can find the certainty that you’re doing fine with investing (because you’re putting money away for retirement, right???), the easier your mind will rest. And the more your early saving will help keep your future options open.
How to get more confident about investing
The simplest way would be to use Target Date Funds, understanding that the entire purpose of these mutual funds is to diversify your investments in a way that is appropriate for someone planning to need the money in the year named in the fund. In other words, I use Target Retirement Fund 2040, which is the closest year to when I’ll most likely be retiring. I know then that the fund will put my dollars in the appropriate mix of stocks and bonds, allowing me to take advantage of market growth over the years, without taking too much risk for my age.
If you want to get more hands-on, start reading. I like the books The 5 Mistakes Every Investor Makes and How to Avoid Them as well as Picture Your Prosperity. I’d also be remiss not to mention What Your Financial Advisor Isn’t Telling You: The 10 Essential Truths You Need to Know About Your Money, which was written by our CEO Liz Davidson. And of course, I invite you to poke around this blog for more insights from my brilliant colleagues.
Pick one and stick with it
Finally, know that there are as many investing philosophies and strategies out there as there are make-up tutorials on YouTube — the key to confidence and success is choosing the one that resonates most with you and sticking with it. Much like I stated above about the dichotomy of choice, saying yes to one means saying no to many others, you just have to go with it. And just like you can change your mind on many of life’s choices (including your eye shadow pallet), you can change your mind on investing strategies, but monkeying around with it too much can obliterate any progress.
3. Stockpile savings in a Health Savings Account (HSA). This is one of my top financial regrets — when HSA’s were first introduced, all I saw was the high-deductible that was required in order to start an HSA and I shied away. What I didn’t recognize was that I NEVER went to the doctor, so having a deductible wasn’t an issue. I played it TOO safe by sticking with an HMO plan for too many years, and missed out on literally thousands of dollars from employers who would’ve funded my HSA over the years. Not to mention I missed out on the tax savings of putting my own money in the account.
Why saving in an HSA can be so powerful for young women
Fast-forward almost 20 years into my career and I’ve literally spent over $10,000 in the past 2 years on various healthcare stuff — everything from acupuncture for fertility to having skin cancer removed from my arm and my scalp to seeing a physical therapist for IT band syndrome. Ask any 40-year old woman about her health and she’ll most likely tell you that it’s been a lot more expensive than she thought. If only I could go back and save some of the money I spent at Old Navy and re-direct it to my future healthcare expenses, I’d still be ahead of the game.
If you are planning to have kids one day, this becomes doubly as powerful, even for guys — maternity care is expensive, kids go to the doctor a lot, and you never know when an emergency appendectomy will have you headed to the OR. (just ask a couple of my colleagues who’ve had to deal with this recently)
4. Take care of yourself but don’t be too Type A about it. If I had a dollar for every stressed-out looking but perfectly sculpted adorable young woman I saw at the yoga studio I frequent, I’d be able to afford the unlimited membership — one of the things we’ve done well as a society is instilled the importance of good health in young women. I often worry though that they are putting so much pressure on themselves to do all that stuff perfectly that they’re missing out on the fun of life. It’s not about getting it all “right” all of the time, it’s about enjoying the journey. The easier my life gets, the more I realize it’s the challenges that make it worth living.
Enjoy some cheese fries, for Pete’s sake, just don’t charge it to your card unless you’re paying it off each month.