4 Life Lessons I Wish I’d Learned 30 Years Ago

July 14, 2017

The other day I started thinking, “If I could travel back in time, what advice would 55 year-old me give to 25 year-old me?” The list grew and I started to get depressed, so I decided to limit it to two things financial and two things non financial in hopes that you might find some life wisdom in here as well.

Here are the conversations I imagine I’d have with my younger, cockier, less experienced (but oh my, much thinner…) self:

Non financial life stuff

  1. Keep in touch with people who are important to you. In about 20 years your daughter will ask you and your wife (whom you haven’t met yet), “Were all your friends in college so nice?”  The answer is no, you just got rid of the ones that weren’t good for you throughout the years. There will also be some that you regret not keeping in touch with. (There is this thing coming called Facebook which will make this easier.) The bottom line — it’s worth it to keep in touch with the people who are important to you, as they will make life better throughout the years.
  2. Focus on things that you do well and find ways to compensate for things that you don’t do as well.  I would tell Young Steve that spelling will always be a challenge for you, but there is this thing coming called spell check that will help, so don’t waste too much time memorizing words. (Although 2017 spell check still cannot figure out what word I am trying to sspaejkll on occasion.) You will be driven to overcome things you are not very good at and pay less attention to what you are good at, but this is a folly — it should be the opposite. I learned this from a book called “Strengths Finder,” which was published in 2007, and showed me I’d wasted a lot of energy over 20 years trying to “fix” myself rather than focusing on what I already did well. Figure out what your strengths are, what you are really good at and focus your time and energy on improving those. Worry less about your short-comings. (And if possible, write that book yourself in ’05 so you can retire early on the revenues from it!)

Financial life stuff

  1. Figure out a spending plan. I know you hate the word budget – it sounds like diet and they both tell you something you cannot do and you hate that. So here is the trick you play on yourself: it’s not a budget, it’s a “spending plan,” where you plan what you want to spend your money on. And you need one ASAP. Rather than beating yourself up for what you wasted your last paycheck on, it is time to think about what you want to spend your next paycheck on. It doesn’t mean you can’t spend money, it means you will be spending money on what is most important to you. For instance, if you want to take that nice sailing trip with your friends next summer ($1,500), that means taking your lunch to work 3 days a week ($10*3*50 weeks =$1,500). 2017 tools that can help do this include Mint.com, everydollar.com, Easy Spending Plan, your bank’s system or any another system/tool/app available. The particular system doesn’t matter; what matters is that you have a way to make sure you are spending your money on what is important to you and that your system gets you and is easy to use.
  2. Set aside 30 minutes a week to think about your finances to make sure you focus your time and money on what is important to you. Right now, your thought process is what is politely described as “inspirational” (also known as scatter brained), but when you find something you like you really dig into it (also known as OCD). If at 25, not married, no kids you cannot find time to take care of your money, you never will find time to do this. Make the time now. Turns out that you are a morning person, the latest you wake up is 6:30 (you used to think Dad was weird when he did the same thing) and that is when your energy is highest, so do it then. Set an appointment every Sunday morning from 7:00 to 7:30 to go over your finances. Look at what you are spending your money on and make sure it matches your spending plan. Make adjustments as necessary. Review your investments to make sure you are taking an appropriate amount of risk. The bottom line — focus your time and money on what is important to you.

Then I thought, “What do I think 85 year-old Steve will want to tell 55 year-old Steve?” Guess what – at this point, I think it would be the same thing. Only time will tell!

 

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