How Your Finances Can Affect Your Dating Life
August 14, 2015One of my favorite phrases with my friends after I say something that clearly isn’t all that brilliant is “Is there any wonder I’m still single?” Sometimes, I say things that are meant one way but interpreted another. At dinner the other night with a group of friends, I made a comment about needing to go outside for a potty break. Of course, I meant the dog but the way I said it made a few of the guests a wee bit nervous. Fortunately, my date understood what I meant and got a good laugh out of it.
I’m hoping she maintains her sense of humor with my take on some recent articles on dating that I’ve read. Men have some dating “deal breakers” as do women in the dating pool. Here are a few of the big ones with some editorial comment from me:
- Guys are expected to pay on the first date. While I have always bought into this theory and made it a practice, lately I’ve been wondering if this is an outdated expectation. If we truly want to live in a world where there are equal rights for all, shouldn’t women be allowed, almost expected, to participate in the funding of the dating world? Women are winning Fighter of the Year honors at the ESPY’s and running for president of the United States and they can’t pick up the check after the 1st date??? (Yep, it’s little wonder that I’m single.)
- Guys tend to strongly dislike being asked financial questions too early in the dating process. “What’s your credit score?” and “How much money do you make?” are questions that are acceptable several months into dating (according to the links above), but if they are asked in the first two or three dates, they could be seen as way premature. I actually agree with this one and had those questions asked of me on a first date not too long ago. I felt like I was being questioned by the FBI about my financial life with questions about assets, liabilities, income, and purchase prices of my car and house along with other fairly intrusive questions but there were very few questions about what I enjoyed, what I cared about and what I wanted out of life. There was no second date.
- Women tend to not want to date a guy who has a low credit score or high credit card debt. If there have been no major life events like medical bills, a divorce, a failed attempt to launch a business or something like that, these things may indicate an inability to make good choices. Every girl’s dream is to have a guy in their life that makes poor decisions, right? If you aren’t happy with your past decisions, learn from them and find a way to make better choices in the future. Consult with people who make great decisions, talk with a professional in an area where you could improve your choices or just spend a bit more time thinking through things before acting.
Like any area of life, your financial behaviors and habits can significantly impact other areas of your life. If your credit score is suffering, you may be paying a higher car insurance premium for a car that may not have a date in your passenger seat. Having lots of credit card debt may impair your ability to spend money in your dating life and provide nights alone without a date. If you are single and looking for ways to increase your odds of finding a successful long term partner, conventional wisdom (and many magazine covers in the supermarket) will tell you to hit the gym and get busy with your fitness plan. I’d suggest that you may want to start by getting your financial life into the best shape it’s ever been.