A Big Day And A Bigger Check?

July 17, 2015

Many moons ago, I remember going from catering company to catering company doing tastings for my wedding. Then there were the conversations with florists, musicians, photographers, venues, etc…it’s all a blur now. Because it was a long time ago and because I was trying to be frugal, the wedding came in well below the average cost of a wedding. I believe that all in, the cost was around $10,000 for everything. Sadly, the divorce 17 years later cost WAY more than that!!!

Much like the cost of college tuition, the cost of weddings has increased significantly since I got married. According to this article, the average couple spent $31,213 on weddings last year. As the father of a daughter who will probably get married one day, I’m hoping that she has my “frugal gene” and we spend far less than the average couple when it’s her turn to walk down the aisle and with any luck, that day is a decade or more away!

It seems like pop culture, the Kardashians (I like to blame them for a lot of what ails America today) and the Disney princesses have made weddings the equivalent of a major Broadway production over the last decade. It’s almost a competitive sport the way I view it. When my daughter was looking at colleges, we had a conversation about the economics of tuition, student loans and your earning potential based on your college major. We will probably be having a similar discussion about her wedding right after some scared young man asks me if he has my blessing. I’m looking forward to making him sweat out my answer…

For her big day, I hope that my daughter doesn’t have to write big checks that could put her future at risk. Here are some of the things that Jordan and I will talk about when I finally say yes and let her future fiancé breathe a little easier. If there is a wedding in your future, you may want to consider these points:

  • A wedding is one day. A marriage is a lifetime (hopefully). Get the lifetime started on the right fiscal foot. Don’t overspend on one day that is merely a blur of images in the long run. It’s the long haul not a single 8-12 hour window that should be the focus.
  • Start with a budget, actually a few budgets. Let’s start with an overall figure that guides the whole process and then have a budget for each product/service and let’s try to come in under budget on EVERY category. We can be aggressive shoppers and have a great day that doesn’t compromise her future or my retirement.
  • Starting out with debt is not a great way to begin life as newlyweds.
    No matter what, absolutely ZERO dollars should be put on a credit card or a personal loan for a wedding. In the event of a financial calamity (her mother and I could be broke or dead or decide not to fund the wedding if there is a season of Orange Is The New Black based upon her life after college), the local courthouse can perform a marriage ceremony for almost free and there could be one heck of a party afterward so that debt doesn’t enter the equation.
  • A wedding is NOT a contest but you could turn it into one. How to have the least expensive wedding of your entire network of friends and family would be a great way to gamify your wedding experience.