Get a Durable Power of Attorney for Your Parents – Unless Your Mom is Betty White

The problem is our parents aren’t as feisty and sharp as Betty White is but they think they are.  Betty who is 89 is still working and even signed on a show on NBC slated for the fall about practical joke playing seniors.  Personally I am not so sure I want to work until 89, unless of course I am asked to be the host of Saturday Night Live at the time.  The issue is with the parents – our parents not wanting to believe they will have a diminished capacity.  Seriously.  Who would?

Who looks forward to not remembering things or being dependent on others?  Who wants to think that we might not be able to get around well or get in and out of the shower?  No one signs up for old age, but the reality is as our parents get older, they need us more – to protect them from people who would prey on them and to protect them from themselves.  The problem lies in when we don’t have the authority to help because we don’t have the legal papers in place.

Case in point:  when my Mother was very ill, I was able to help her in every way possible because I was a trustee on her family trust.  Fortunately, I was able to watch over her finances for her and step in when she needed me to.  My Dad had medical power of attorney with me as a back-up.  Her bases were covered.

One of my friends is married to someone who is developing cognitive issues.  I am not sure of the nature of the illness except that it is affecting his short term memory.  He keeps forgetting to eat among other things.  What I do know is she does not have a power of attorney and when she brings it up NOW, he is defensive and doesn’t want to talk about it and certainly doesn’t want to sign it.  He doesn’t want to admit that he has something wrong with him and he fights that thought with everything he has and of course that means he is fighting her.  Without the power of attorney, everything is now going to be a fight; she can’t sign on his behalf.

It is certainly easier to bring up the power of attorney sooner rather than later especially with your parents.  What is a powers of attorney and why do you need them?  With a financial power of attorney, your representative can sign on your behalf and with the medical power of attorney, you give them the authorization to make medical decisions for you.  Simple as that.  The key is to broach the subject now when things are easy breezy and needing it is a hypothetical concept.  Okay, well it will probably never be easy breezy but you get the picture.  Remember, our parents are always going to think they are as feisty as Betty White or as smart as Bob Dole and someday we’ll be the same way, too.

For resources on the durable power of attorney for medical and financial matters, click on the links below.

The Durable Power of Attorney: Health Care and Finances

The Durable Power of Attorney and how it Works

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