Helping Aging Parents Decide Where to Live

September 13, 2016

As a Generation Xer, it’s amazing how the conversations I have with my friends have changed over the years. At first, the conversations were about who was dating who and the latest episode of The X-Files (the original one). Then it was all about the baby pictures, which quickly turned into prayer vigils as to how we are going to survive the teen years.

Over the last few years, the conversations have been about our aging parents and how we can help them make life decisions, such as where they will live once they retire. If your parents are healthy and can perform activities of daily living, then an independent living facility like a senior apartment/condo may work. These types of homes can be subsidized for those with low income or private pay only.

If your parents have health issues that requires monitoring and struggle with some of the activities of daily living but do not need 24 hour nursing care, then an assisted living facility may be an option. Since there is no uniform standard for assisted living facilities, call and ask about what services are offered and the living arrangements. Another option is for your parents to stay at their home and hire a caregiver for basic non-medical care. If your parents have a condition that is progressive such as Alzheimer’s or that requires extensive nursing care, then a nursing home may be a consideration. Consider using checklists like the one from the Alzheimer’s Association to go over questions to ask.

As you start to evaluate which one is the best option for your parents consider the following:

1. How much can they afford? Assess all their income resources. Some senior facilities are private pay only, and some are income based. If your parent’s finances are limited, consider contacting your local Department of Aging Ombudsman Program for guidance. Review your parent’s benefits and insurance documents to see if they have long term care insurance, and contact the insurance company regarding the requirements to activate the policy.

2. What level of care will your parents need now and possibly in the future? Some active adult community facilities only provide limited heath care while others are connected to an assisted living facility that offers more comprehensive care so if needed, your parents can seamlessly transition. Organizations like A Place for Mom,  Adult Living Solutions, Seniors Resource Guide and possibly your local senior center can provide information on helping you make the most informed decision.

3. What level of independence do your parents want? This may require a reality check. Talk to your parents to make sure that the facility they want and the expected level of care matches. Once you have agreed, use the resources above to find the best option that matches your parents needs and wants.

Elder care can be stressful. There’s a lot you can do though. Taking the time to help your parents make the best decision will go a long way into making the transition as smooth as possible.